Way back when I first started this blog, I made a post about church. I loved going as a kid, but as an adult (especially with children) I find it very hard to get there and do so in a way that doesn’t involve me yelling or getting stressed because someone isn’t getting ready or the clothes we need aren’t clean or whatever. So we have been churchless for several years. Some of it’s due to our nomadic lifestyle, some of it’s due to my social anxiety, some of it is our slightly liberal belief system, and some of it is just pure laziness.

But with the new stresses in our life, I’m feeling the pull for spiritual fulfillment, as well as a social outlet. I really have very few friends here, and absolutely nobody I can just call up and say “Hey, I had a bad day…want to go grab some coffee and chill out for a little while?” It’s wearing me down and I just feel like I really need all of the stuff that goes with finding a church home.

I have been intrigued by Brickcity Community Church ever since we moved here. It seemed like it had what we were looking for, but walking into new social settings literally terrifies me. I’ve had panic attacks over it before and have been known to go back to my car and leave if I can’t handle it. I’m starting to feel queasy and shaky now just thinking about trying to do this on Sunday. So does anyone attend that church? Can you tell me a little more? Like, if we all show up in jeans are people going to look at us funny? What types of service do you do in the community? If my beliefs are a little different than others, is that going to be a problem? (And truly, my beliefs may be like everyone else’s there…but I’ve had bad experiences with Christians before when I have spoken up and said I feel that God calls us to love everyone and that judging is His job, not ours. Apparently that only extends to people who are “like us.”) I love that their services are at 10AM and 11:30. An 8:30 contemporary service (which is what many churches seem to offer) is not going to work for us…we just can’t get out the door in time! I’ve never understood why so many churches have their contemporary services so early. With 3 kids to get dressed and ready, as well as getting ourselves together, it is not feasible for us.

If I can get up the courage and convince my husband, we’re going to try to go on Sunday. I need this! And if you attend a church that you think has what we’re looking for, let me know. I attended a “traditional” church as a kid, but I think the contemporary services seem to be more my style these days. Even a traditional church with a contemporary service would work as long as the opportunities to serve and worship suit us.

This one just makes me think and I love it when music does that to me. It also gives me hope, and goodness knows I need lots of that these days!

This one can’t be embedded, so you’ll have to click to see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-kpR32B-Uk

There has been so much whining about money here lately, hasn’t there? Well, I’m going to do some more of that. Feel free to skip it if you’re sick of it!

So, this being my last pregnancy, I wanted to commemorate it in a couple of different ways. First being a maternity portrait session some time around Christmas…a month before the baby is due when I’m nice and round but not huge and swollen. We did this about 6 weeks before my last child arrived (though it was supposed to be 8 weeks before!) and I have some lovely family photos that I really adore. None of me alone, though. I don’t want anything super wild. No bare belly shots or anything like that…just some nice *professional* (sorry, not Sears or JCPenney!) portraits of me and my husband, me and the kids, and me. To commemorate the last days of my last pregnancy. But financially it is out of the question now and probably will be even if some money comes in before that. We just have too much to buy between now and the baby’s arrival and this is really the bottom of the list when it comes to things we need to spend money on.

The second was to have a 3D/4D ultrasound at Prenatal Peek in Durham sometime in November. We did this last time and it was so amazing! The technology wasn’t widely available with my 1st and though we do have ultrasound videos of him (which I watched last night and cried over!) they are grainy and you can’t see much. These 3D/4D ones are amazing…we could see all kinds of details and when I watched ours last night I cried my eyes out. I relived the entire amazing experience and I’m so sad that I can’t do it again. And just because I can, here’s a short video clip and a photo from that ultrasound.

Count yourself lucky if you can say no.  I am not one of those people!  I have had 4 lithotripsies, (a surgery where they bust them up via shock waves, it’s non invasive and not particularly terrible unless they don’t break up well and you have to pass large fragments) a cystoscopy under general anesthesia to remove one that was caught in my ureter, a cystoscopy to place a stent, (right before the c-section birth of my last child, so luckily I’d had a spinal!) and one cystoscopy to remove that stent where I had no anesthesia.  And if you don’t know what a cystoscopy is, you can get more info here.  I won’t go into details for the squeamish who may read my blog.  Let’s just say it’s unpleasant and leave it at that.  Not to mention I’ve passed quite a few stones with no intervention whatsoever!

Last night, I started experiencing that unmistakable telltale pain that tells me I have yet another one.  I started guzzling water and then ate some tomatoes and cucumbers in vinegar, then drank the vinegar left in the bowl.  This may sound slightly crazy, but there is some evidence that vinegar may help to dissolve kidney stones that are calcium based, like mine.  If you’ve ever had calcium deposits on a shower head or faucet, you’ve probably used vinegar to remove them, right?  It’s the same concept, and it does seem to work.  A couple of months ago I was experiencing some twinges that made me think I had a stone and immediately started drinking a few tablespoons of vinegar and water every few hours and a day or 2 later passed something that vaguely resembled a stone, but it was very crumbly, for lack of a better word.  Typically kidney stones are like a small piece of gravel you’d find on the ground outside…literally, like a rock!  This was very different.  And it was pain free!

So last night after I took something for the pain and had a warm bath to soothe me as well, I went to bed, expecting a middle of the night awakening in pain, or a bad morning.  Nope…I am pain free and so thankful for that!  I definitely haven’t passed anything yet, so it’s still there somewhere, but at least I’m not hurting anymore.  I’ll report back on whether this natural remedy worked.  One time may be a fluke, but if it happens twice, I’m prepared to call it a success.

And if you come to this later by googling “natural remedy for kidney stones” or something similar, DO NOT do the coke and asparagus thing.  It does not work.  (If you haven’t heard of this one, you drink a six pack of coke in something like an hour, then follow it by eating several ounces of pureed asparagus.  Not only does it not work, but it made me violently ill!)

I have had this window open for a couple of hours now, just trying to decide what to post about. The main thing in my head is the fact that my husband is currently in Asheboro, pitching to a company there in the hopes of picking up some work. I alternate between praying that things go well and feeling like I’m going to throw up from the nervousness.

As for the other stuff bouncing around in my brain, here’s just a sample…

• With the arrival of the new LUSH store in Raleigh at Crabtree Valley, I’ve finally been able to try a couple of bath bombs and LOVE them. Now I want to try their hair color. The idea of my grays becoming bright red is strangely appealing. Has anyone tried it? Does anyone want to have a LUSH hair color party with me?
• I have a hair appointment scheduled for tomorrow. I am anxious to see what she makes of my badly thinning hair. I’ve never had this problem while pregnant…it usually becomes very thick and pretty. Right now it’s dull, thin, and lifeless. Yuck.
• Nobody in town will pierce my nose while I’m pregnant. Which doesn’t surprise me, but there goes my fabulous 33rd birthday gift to myself. Oh well! I still plan to have it done, but it may be a little bit longer. I did find some really cool opal nose screws, though!
• As difficult as 2 year olds can be, this may also be my favorite age. Right now he’s running back and forth from the art table with various pieces of scribbled paper and saying “look, look!” He is SO proud of himself!
• Both boys have requested a baby sister. I hope they’re not disappointed if it’s a brother instead.
• Yes, we do know what causes pregnancy. Yes, we wanted another baby. No, we don’t care what your opinion is. Why do people think it’s OK to comment on this?
• I am excited about the location of the new YMCA, which will open right before the baby arrives. It will be about 5 minutes from our house and I plan to utilize it as soon as I’m cleared for exercise! I just hope our income permits it at that point.
• With just me and the youngest home today, I think wee’re going to go have lunch at McD’s and then head by Shoppes of Steele Street so I can get some *good* chocolate. Must go do something with my nasty hair and maybe put on some make-up…

My musical taste is really eclectic and extends to pretty much everything except country (spent too much time in Nashville where that’s practically ALL you hear!) and rap.  And honestly, even those are sometimes my music of choice.  But I do love a lot of rock/metal, and this is one song I could listen to over and over again, turned up as loud as it will go!

There may be some funkiness here today…as much as I love my little pink bird, season changes always make me want to look for a fresh new theme for my blog. So instead of setting up a test site, I’m going to do the adjusting live on this one. I’ll get it back to normal ASAP, but in the meantime pretend you don’t see the man behind the curtain, OK?

EDITED: I think I’m done.  If anything isn’t working, let me know!  You may notice I added a verification feature known as captcha on the comments.  I’ve been getting massive amount of SPAM comments lately and I can barely keep up with them.  Hopefully this, in conjunction with the updated Akismet plugin, will cut down on it again.  You don’t have to register or anything…just input a 5 letter word along with the other info when commenting.

As I frequently do, I was looking at my blog stats and seeing some of the searches that have brought people here.  And then I saw this.  And no joke, fell out of my chair from laughing.

how to deal with a crazy baby momma?

Now I’m just saying, and trying to do so without judgment, but you might have thought of that before you got her pregnant.  Just a suggestion.  (Yes, I know things happen and people change!  But still, people!)

I’ve been so neglectful of my blog lately!  These music posts were ones I did all at once a week or so ago, and I meant for them to be in addition to my regular posts.  Unfortunately, I have even less than usual to talk about.

I’m in a holding pattern with my pregnancy…at that stage where you’re just kind of waiting to see if the baby is healthy at the major ultrasound.  And of course there’s all of the girl or boy anticipation.  I’m tired of people asking what we’re having.  I don’t really get that.  It seems to me that your first question would be asking how I’m doing, or if the baby is healthy.  I spent some time with my neighbor this morning and she’s probably the first person I’ve encountered in weeks who hasn’t asked if we know the sex yet!  It was nice.  And truly, I just don’t care.  If God himself came down and told me I could pick one or the other, I’d choose a girl just to even things up a little bit.  But since it’s out of my control it is a non-issue.  It will be what it will be, and as long as we have a healthy baby we couldn’t be happier.  (And please don’t feel like it’s not OK to ask…it is, but since I don’t know yet, it’s a little bit like getting a phone call every day asking if you’ve gone into labor or had that baby yet.  Mildly annoying, but you know it’s just because people care and are interested!)  I think my perspective is different from most because I’ve learned through my own experience and that of others that a healthy baby or safe pregnancy are not always guaranteed.  So I probably worry more about that than the average person.  Though I would like to know if I can call this baby he or she…and picking out a name would be nice, too!  We did start a registry this week, more as a checklist for me than anything else, so I know what I need to get.  With so much time between our 1st and 3rd, we’ve had to get rid of some things that are essential, like the car seat that was expired.  (Yes, they do expire…check yours!)

And of course our money situation is starting to worry me.  My husband has now been unemployed for almost 2.5 months and our meager savings is quickly drying up.  We absolutely cannot afford to move, and he doesn’t have any guaranteed customers yet.  He has had several meetings scheduled, but no definite contracts yet.  We’re hopeful for this to happen soon, but even then it may take a couple of months to see income.  Until then, we’re doing what we can to save money where we can but I’m getting scared.  I’d go get a job, but now that I’m pretty obviously pregnant, nobody seems to want to hire me.  I understand why not, but we’re in a really scary place right now and even a small income would benefit us greatly!

And then there’s the whole back thing, which has prevented me from spending much time at the computer.  It’s still pretty painful, and even though I’ve gotten a wonderful aromatherapy heating pad (can’t recommend it enough!) I have to limit my time with it because of my pregnancy.  And I can’t take Advil or any other anti-inflammatory type drug, so I’ve mainly had to grin and bear it.  There is some improvement, but right now it’s just painful to sit here, so I avoid it.

So between the uneventfulness, the worry, and the pain, I have little to talk about.  Hopefully this week will provide some blog fodder.  Until then, prayers and good thoughts for a healthy baby at our ultrasound on September 2 and our financial situation are much appreciated.  Watch this space for baby news the day after Labor Day!

Grey’s Anatomy fans may recognize this one from (I think!) the last episode of Season 3.  I discovered Ingrid Michaelson after falling in love with this song, and really enjoy a lot of her music.  It’s available as a single now, so if you’re not a fan of the GA soundtrack you can get it by itself!

And since I found the GA clip with the song, here it is for your viewing pleasure!