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Archive for the ‘Randomness’ Category

The Happening

01 Jun

Something happened today.  Something I have been dreading for months now.  I wasn’t sure exactly how it all would work once the day finally came, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined.  I cried a little, mostly out of embarrassment, but I was treated with kindness.  And now that it has finally happened and the constant dread is gone, I am strangely at peace.  I survived.  I will continue to survive.  The people who love me don’t love me any less and the people that don’t love me never cared anyway.

If it happens again, I’ll be prepared.  And strong.  And I know that it will be OK.  It’s a lesson that I’ve been taught over and over again…when the bad thing you’ve been dreading happens, it simply brings with it a sense of relief most of the time.  A reminder of what really matters in life, a peace that can only come when you decide to take control, move on, and trust that better things are coming.

It happened.  And hopefully the worst part is over now that the dread is gone.  I’m not ready to talk about it yet (and I may not ever be ready to talk about it publicly) so you won’t be getting details.  It is probably not the terrible things you are probably imagining right now.  And honestly, the details don’t matter.  What does matter is that I’m at peace, no longer living in fear of this Terrible Thing that’s really not so terrible.  It is what it is and now I know what it is.  As they say, knowing is half the battle!

 
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Posted in Me Stuff, Rambling, Randomness

 

Breaking Radio Silence

26 May

Yuck.  The last post I did was so negative.  Thanks to some great suggestions, we now have a “Dos and Don’ts” dinner plan in place and the manners are improving.  I was trying to come up with a plan similar to what Aricka posted in the comments and her suggestions just fleshed it out and we were doing it by the next day!  I’ve been away most nights in class, but the nights I’m here, I can definitely see major improvement.  Thanks for the comments on that one, everybody!

I now have my computer back.  Thanks to Paul at the Computer Repair Shop on Steele Street, everything was saved and it’s now running smoothly.  The only problem is that I’ve misplaced my Office 2007 and Photoshop discs so I’m desperately trying to find those so this computer is useful for something more than just the internet.  I can reorder the Office disc for about $30, so I’m OK with that if necessary.  But the lack of Photoshop makes me want to cry.  Everyone is telling me to try Picasa, so I downloaded it but haven’t had the heart to open it yet.  I really love my Photoshop…

The NA1 class is INTENSE.  Started last Tuesday, had an exam Wednesday, Thursday, and again last night.  For really real.  Tonight there’s a reprieve from the testing as we’re going to be in the lab.  I’m excited about learning how to wash my hands like a real nurse and tying restraints.  Oh yes, I said restraints.  I should say something funny here about putting my kids in restraints but don’t want to freak people out and have DSS coming to investigate me.  Plus I’m just not all that funny.  Don’t worry, no restraints for the under 12 set at my house.

I had a babysitter last night.  My husband had a class in Raleigh that overlapped with mine and because of the time of day and the fact that it was all 3 of them, I didn’t want to ask a friend to do it.  For most people, a babysitter is not a big deal.  But for me, it is HUGE.  Yes, capital letters HUGE.  We have no family in town and though I have friends who can take the kids in a pinch, I try to avoid that because I don’t want to take advantage of them.  Since we can’t afford date nights, we’ve just never really needed a babysitter.  I was a nervous wreck, not because I doubted the babysitter’s capabilities, but because I didn’t know how the kids would be.  Turns out I was worried over nothing.  They all kissed me goodbye (even Violet) and were absorbed in whatever they were doing before I even pulled out of the driveway.  And this tells me I’m a good mom.  I’ve been criticized in the past for not being comfortable separating from them, for being too attached, for not allowing them to develop normally…but guess what?  When it came down to it they were all fine.  My attachment to them has allowed them to grow and understand that mommy will always be back.  Take that, anti-attachment people!

There were about a million other things over the last week or so that I thought I should blog about but I just can’t remember them.  Oh well…material for another day!

 
1 Comment

Posted in Back to School, Family, Parenting, Rambling, Randomness, Sanford

 

Happy Things

27 Apr

Since I’ve been a little dark lately, how about some good stuff?

The semester is quickly drawing to a close.  This time next week, I’ll be done with chemistry and developmental psychology.  After that, it’s time to look forward to my NA1 class this summer and anatomy & physiology starting in the fall.  As of right now, I’m well on my way to an A in the psychology class.  I just got the score back on my paper and it was 196/200, so I’m thrilled.  She also said it was one of the best papers she’s read this semester so I feel pretty darn good.  We’ll skip my feelings on chemistry since this is supposed to be a happy post…

I’m back to exercising daily and am already down a couple of pounds with no change in diet.  Couldn’t be happier.

I’m also getting the house back in shape after 3 long months of being sidelined.  It’s slow going, but I expect it will be cleaned up enough to invite people over sometime by September. (Ha!)

Dinner is becoming my responsibility again.  I kind of hate to take this back over since my husband was doing such an awesome job of tossing things together and making some delicious meals.  But I’ve learned a few things from him, so I’m getting pretty creative lately, too.  I made a chicken chili dish last week that was awesome. (Will post recipe one of these days!) Right now, I’ve got frozen spinach, chicken breast, alfredo sauce, lemon juice, and black pepper in the crock pot.  Have no idea how it will turn out, but it smells divine!

Violet’s refusal to nurse appears to have been a fluke.  She was back to normal on Monday and is clearly not interested in weaning yet.  I have mixed feelings.  While I’m a little bit unhappy about it (I’d kind of like my body back, after 4.5 years straight of being pregnant and/or nursing.) I am mostly happy that it wasn’t the sudden end I thought it would be.  Abrupt weaning is really uncomfortable and the hormone crash is no fun.  So we continue for now, but I am going to put more limits on it.  It’s a plan we can both live with for the time being.

Netflix streaming on the Wii = instant happiness!  I even think this will convince my husband to drop cable.  That’s another way for us to save money that I haven’t been able to implement just yet.

Over all, there’s a lot of good stuff going on right now.  I just need to remind myself of that more often!

 
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Posted in Me Stuff, Randomness

 

TGIF

13 Nov

I’m not sure why I haven’t blogged this week…it’s not been particularly crazy.  I did spend a lot of time getting caught up on homework assignments that I couldn’t complete because of computer issues, but that’s not taken up too much time.  It’s been a bad week for pain with all of the rain (when did I get so old that my pain levels were dictated by the weather???) so I guess I haven’t wanted to sit here much.  The weather is also slightly depressing and I hate to be negative here.  So I guess I’m blaming it on the rain…the good thing is that I didn’t pretend to post it myself when I really had someone else doing it for me!

Clearly I am a total dork.  I really hope someone else gets that…

 
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Posted in Randomness

 

Over The Top!

16 Oct

I have now been tagged by 2 people with this one, so I suppose I should give in and do it, huh?  Thanks to Kelly and Melissa for tagging me!

Here are the rules: Answer the questions below using only one word (yes, only one). Thank the blogger who gave it to you. Pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers.

The good stuff:

Where is your cell phone? diaperbag (that’s 1 word, right?)
Your hair? blah
Your mother? Knoxville
Your father? dead
Your favorite food? chocolate
Your dream last night? forgotten
Your favorite drink? Dew (so embarrassing, but I’m addicted)
Your dream/goal? nurse
What room are you in? office
Your hobby? writing
Your fear? pregnancy
Where do you want to be in 6 years? working
Where were you last night? home
Something you aren’t? neat
Muffins? blueberry
Wish list item? netbook
Where did you grow up? Knoxville
Last thing you did? groceries
What are you wearing? sweats
Your TV? off
Your pets? dead
Your friends? blessings
Your life? content
Your mood? tired
Missing someone? yes
Vehicle? minivan
Something you’re not wearing? glasses
Your favorite store? Target
Your favorite color? pink
When was the last time you laughed? lunch
Last time you cried? vacation
Your best friend? amazing
One place that I go over and over? church
One person who emails me regularly? Ashley
Favorite place to eat? fondue

And now your part:

Yeah, I’m not tagging anyone.  Because I am a) lazy and b) the people who I’d tag wouldn’t do it anyway.  So if you’re inclined, go ahead and do it and leave me a note in the comments.

 
2 Comments

Posted in Randomness, Tag! You're it!

 
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