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Archive for the ‘Rambling’ Category

Breaking Radio Silence

26 May

Yuck.  The last post I did was so negative.  Thanks to some great suggestions, we now have a “Dos and Don’ts” dinner plan in place and the manners are improving.  I was trying to come up with a plan similar to what Aricka posted in the comments and her suggestions just fleshed it out and we were doing it by the next day!  I’ve been away most nights in class, but the nights I’m here, I can definitely see major improvement.  Thanks for the comments on that one, everybody!

I now have my computer back.  Thanks to Paul at the Computer Repair Shop on Steele Street, everything was saved and it’s now running smoothly.  The only problem is that I’ve misplaced my Office 2007 and Photoshop discs so I’m desperately trying to find those so this computer is useful for something more than just the internet.  I can reorder the Office disc for about $30, so I’m OK with that if necessary.  But the lack of Photoshop makes me want to cry.  Everyone is telling me to try Picasa, so I downloaded it but haven’t had the heart to open it yet.  I really love my Photoshop…

The NA1 class is INTENSE.  Started last Tuesday, had an exam Wednesday, Thursday, and again last night.  For really real.  Tonight there’s a reprieve from the testing as we’re going to be in the lab.  I’m excited about learning how to wash my hands like a real nurse and tying restraints.  Oh yes, I said restraints.  I should say something funny here about putting my kids in restraints but don’t want to freak people out and have DSS coming to investigate me.  Plus I’m just not all that funny.  Don’t worry, no restraints for the under 12 set at my house.

I had a babysitter last night.  My husband had a class in Raleigh that overlapped with mine and because of the time of day and the fact that it was all 3 of them, I didn’t want to ask a friend to do it.  For most people, a babysitter is not a big deal.  But for me, it is HUGE.  Yes, capital letters HUGE.  We have no family in town and though I have friends who can take the kids in a pinch, I try to avoid that because I don’t want to take advantage of them.  Since we can’t afford date nights, we’ve just never really needed a babysitter.  I was a nervous wreck, not because I doubted the babysitter’s capabilities, but because I didn’t know how the kids would be.  Turns out I was worried over nothing.  They all kissed me goodbye (even Violet) and were absorbed in whatever they were doing before I even pulled out of the driveway.  And this tells me I’m a good mom.  I’ve been criticized in the past for not being comfortable separating from them, for being too attached, for not allowing them to develop normally…but guess what?  When it came down to it they were all fine.  My attachment to them has allowed them to grow and understand that mommy will always be back.  Take that, anti-attachment people!

There were about a million other things over the last week or so that I thought I should blog about but I just can’t remember them.  Oh well…material for another day!

 

Death and All His Friends

22 Apr

Normally, I have a pretty good sense of humor.  There are a lot of things I find funny…much of it completely inappropriate for a woman of my age, but I can find the humor in a lot of situations.  My sense of humor stops at death, especially right now.  This is a hard time of year for me.  Nine years ago, I said goodbye to my father.  We left a lot of issues unresolved between us and I feel pain about that to this day.  And I can’t tell him I’m sorry.  I can’t ask him why he did or said certain things.  He has never met my children.  He doesn’t know that I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life, that I feel fulfilled and complete, finally.  That I’ve found the peace I spent most of my high school and college years trying desperately to find.

Death prevented all of that.  I believe that one day I will go to Heaven.  And I want to believe that I will be reunited with him there, but I don’t know.  I don’t know how it all works, so I don’t know if those last few months of us arguing and saying terrible things to one another are among the last interactions we’ll have.  As far as I know right now, that’s it for us.  And it hurts.  It hurts my heart in ways most people can’t imagine.

And so I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t think joking about the death of President Obama hilarious.  Or for that matter, George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Kate Gosselin, Britney Spears or any one of a million public figures that I’m not particularly fond of.  Would I like never to hear about them again?  Sure!  But as much as I dislike them, they all have people who love them and need them.  I get that others think jokes like this are funny, and I’m sorry if it offends you that I am uncomfortable with it.  Death is too real, too tragic for me to be amused by it.

And just so you know I actually do have a sense of humor about our President, here are some jokes that made me snort the other day when I was trying to find a specific joke for a friend.  Enjoy!

”President Obama just held his first monthly bipartisan meeting and said that working together on jobs would be a good place to start. You know where else would have been a good place to start? A year ago.” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize.” –Jay Leno

”Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he’s not too busy with the two wars he’s conducting.” —Bill Maher

“Barack Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. So, apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his mind.” –Jay Leno

“President Barack Obama told his Cabinet yesterday to insure that every taxpayer dollar is spent wisely. But there was one embarrassing moment when he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was.” –Jay Leno

”President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He’s concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that’s just in his administration.” —Jay Leno

 
 

Vampires are super cool! (Get it? Hahaha!)

01 Dec

Last night, Violet bit me at some point and I dreamed that she was a vampire with super awesome special abilities.  I just finished re-reading Breaking Dawn, so vampire babies were in my head along with supernatural talents and that little chomp triggered something!  (I guess her top front teeth are finally coming in and it feels good to bite on things.  Not so good for me, though.)

I’ve mentioned before my shameful love of the Twilight series.  I know it’s juvenile and teen-angsty and Bella is annoying and it’s all so dumb.  But Stephenie Meyer tells a good story.  (Not to be confused with being a good writer!)  I went to see New Moon the day it came out.  Not at midnight (because I am old and couldn’t stay awake) but that evening.  It was amazing.  Much better than Twilight, which surprised me.  I didn’t like New Moon when I read it…I was too busy wondering where Edward was and whether he would ever come back.  But the movie was phenomenal!  I especially liked it when that guy who plays Jacob took off his shirt.  Please don’t remind me that he’s only 17…I find it disturbing that he is a) jail bait, b) half my age, and c) I’m old enough to be his mother, if I’d had a baby in high school.  I try to think how I’d feel if women my age or older were gasping in delight every time one of my sons took off his shirt (assuming they were 17) and I feel a little sick.  Of course, that didn’t stop me from doing it!

I have been thinking a lot about the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob stuff.  I’ve always been Team Edward for Bella.  I don’t want to spoil the whole series for you, but if you know how everything ends up it works out OK.  But if I was in that situation, it would be Jacob for me.  I like warm bodies.  Safety and security.  The one who’s always there when I need them.  Plus the way that boy looks without a shirt…well, if we’re talking about me, I’m Team Jacob all the way.

 
 

Bah.

22 Oct

I have a finance exam due in about 2 hours.  I’m almost done, but I came to the computer to check out some notes the professor put online and got (as always) sidetracked by the facebook and the twitter and the email and the million time wasters that distract me daily.  I also have the tiniest bit of a hangover (I swear, it was only 1 margarita, but being pregnant and/or nursing for 4 years straight now and not drinking at all for most of that has done terrible things to my tolerance) and my husband, who was supposed to have the morning free to help me with the kids, is now showing houses (not complaining, because we need income more than I need to make a perfect score on this exam) which means I have to deal with them as well and OMG Violet is putting a Hot Wheels in her mouth and Colin just hit her and now they’re both screaming because I took the car away from her and put him in time out and how the heck am I going to pass this exam?

And why, in God’s name, am I blogging about all of this instead of just taking the stupid test?  I am my own worst enemy.

 

Birthday Thoughts

21 Oct

Last year was one of the best years of my life.  There was so much to celebrate!  The birth of my 3rd (and final) child…a daughter to complete our family.  Going back to school and realizing that I CAN do this.  Surviving unemployment for another 12 months.  My husband beginning a new career, which he enjoys even if it hasn’t brought any income yet.  (Soon, though!)  Watching my boys continue to grow and thrive, proving that I AM doing a good job.  Making so many new friends who have been amazing positive influences on my life.  They may not know it, but their love and support means so much to me.  It’s been a long time since I had girlfriends to hang out with…we’ve moved so much and I never allowed myself to get settled anywhere.  That alone is reason to celebrate!

And I’m celebrating because my day was mind-numbingly boring.  Dirty diapers, hungry kids, homework drama…it was just like every other day.  But this is the life I always wanted.  I’m grateful for the monotony born of family life, because it was what I dreamed about when I was a little girl.  The chance to be a mom, to stay home with them, and to be the wife of a man who is my best friend and loves me despite all of my flaws.  So many people I know chose a very different path and don’t quite get my life.  That’s OK…I am happy and doing exactly what I always wanted to do.  Dirty diapers, hungry kids, homework drama and all!