No, no labor for me! Either in the baby birthing sense or the physical sense. It’s been a lazy day and I didn’t even make it into my oldest son’s room to do the clothing sorting I meant to do in preparation for the ultrasound tomorrow. Oh well…I guess it will happen, right? In the meantime, here’s another brain dump!

We did go to church yesterday, and Amy and her husband met us there. We all agreed that it was good, even if the start of the service was slightly intimidating at first! The sermon was something that I especially needed to hear, so I really felt God’s presence there. The kids had fun, we got a $25 gas card, and I felt closer to God than I have in a long time. Even my husband, who has never been a church-goer, enjoyed it and said he’d like to go back. I’m really, really happy about this. I’m sick of being mad at God for the bad stuff in our life and I’m ready to trust that He will help us get everything back together (as long as we’re putting the effort in, too!) if we give him the chance. So I’m really hoping that this church will help us rediscover that faith and give us the confidence we need to move forward.

Tonight is the start of the football season for my personal team, the Tennessee Volunteers. Go Vols!

I really feel for Bristol Palin. I know she must be scared and overwhelmed and being in the media spotlight (which I think is wrong by the way…we need to focus on the candidates and their fitness for office) can’t be easy. Let’s face it, we all messed up to some degree as teenagers. I just thank God that my lapses in judgment weren’t in the national news. Gah. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for her. I just hope that she has a good support system in place. I am also reminded of why I am against abstinence only sex ed. As much as I would prefer that for my children, I know that I can’t lock them in their rooms until I think they’re responsible, mature adults. *sigh* It’s really too bad that’s not an option. (That is a joke! Well, sorta. LOL)

Speaking of that, I must not ignore or change the subject on my 5 year old the next time he asks me how the baby got in my belly. It’s never too early, right? Now to figure out how to approach that issue in an age appropriate and sensitive way. I’m a little queasy just thinking about it! (Smart people, if you have resources, please fill me in!)

Tomorrow is the premier of the new 90210. Today, SoapNet has run a marathon of the original and I’ve been very into it! Yes, I’m 32 years old and reliving high school. If my house was clean, I’d totally have a viewing party tomorrow night, just like we did in high school and college! Instead, I will try to watch it with my husband mocking me and my 2 year old climbing on me. Oh, how things have changed…

Tomorrow is also the BIG day. We will (I hope!) be confirming that our baby is healthy and strong and also finding out whether this is a baby sister or a baby brother for the boys, assuming this baby gives up the goods. My first did not…we had to wait another 4 weeks and have a repeat ultrasound because his position was so terrible that she couldn’t visualize the heart well, much less tell the sex. Our babysitter for tomorrow backed out on us, so we’ll be taking the toddler along. I’m hoping he allows his daddy to enjoy the experience! Luckily I will be unable to wrestle with him. If you could send your prayers and good thoughts to us around 10:30, I’d be most grateful! I’ll be back as soon as I can with the full update.

This is my 2nd post today…and if you only read one post, I’d rather you read the other one! So if you’re not interested in the political babble, please scroll down and read that one instead.

I am blown away by McCain’s VP choice. He has either just won or just lost the election. Wow. Bold move is an understatement. And I have to say that I am thrilled by the fact that for once this country will have someone other than two white men in those top offices. One way or another, history is being made. Either we will have an African American president or a female vice president. It’s exciting and I’m so thrilled to see it! Is it strange that I’m considering scheduling my c-section on January 20th so I can tell this child that the day he or she was born was a historic day for our country?

But I have to be honest…I see this as a move designed to garner the votes of the Hillary supporters who are still undecided. And I’m not sure it will work. Because Sarah Palin’s conservative values are polar opposites of Clinton’s liberal values. And I am sure that a lot of people will see it as pandering and be turned off by it. So if that was his aim, I think it hurts more than it helps.

I also think that when you take his age and past health issues into consideration her extreme lack of experience is scary. And considering that’s been one of the main criticisms of Obama, the irony is staggering. Her political experience is limited to terms on the city council and as mayor to a city smaller than Sanford, and she is (I think) only halfway through her first term as governor to the least populated state in the country. Wow. Her approval rating there is high, but I still think she lacks the experience to step in as president should McCain become unable to perform the duties of the office. And let’s face it…his age has been a big concern for a lot of people. Just as Obama’s lack of experience is a big concern. Now you have both problems on one ticket! Was that a good move?

And I’m going to be judgmental and sexist here, but I do not believe that a woman with a 4 month old baby who has special needs should be considering a job such as VP of the US. Frankly, a man shouldn’t either. And not knowing the extent to which he is affected both medically and cognitively by his Down’s Syndrome (and they may not know for several years) I worry about her ability to be both an effective parent AND an effective VP of the most powerful nation in the world. And please don’t assume that I am saying that women shouldn’t work, or women with babies shouldn’t work, or that women with babies with special needs shouldn’t work…I am saying that the VP position (and remember, she will be first in line to be the president!) appears to me to be a very important and demanding job. As a mother myself, I cannot imagine pursuing something like that with an infant, much less one with special needs. Nor could I be supportive of my husband doing so. (Maybe I’m not being as sexist as I think I am?) With older children, I’d feel differently. I do think she has the potential to be a tremendous advocate for not only working mothers, but also for children with special needs. We need more of that in this world, particularly in positions of power. I very much see the working mom of a small child thing being a huge sticking point for the uber-conservative and evangelicals in this country, too. Why alienate your biggest voting base?

I do like a lot of things about her. Her son is about to deploy to Iraq. If she supports the war (and I assume she does based on this) then she’s not leaving it for others to fight. She is pro-life and has carried a child to term knowing there would be problems. I have a lot of respect for people who back up their words with actions, and both of these situations show me that even if disagree with her stances she’s not going to expect people to do something that she would not do herself. (I don’t think I’ve articulated that well…I hope that makes sense!) I think it boils down to her not being a “do as I say, not as I do” type. Big thumbs up for that! She opposes gay marriage but does support same sex partnership benefits. She has exposed corruption in her own party, something which we need more of on both sides of the aisle. From what little I can find, she seems to be fiscally conservative, which is generally the issue I find myself to be most conservative on. Though I don’t see much fiscal conservatism on either side much these days!

I guess what it boils down to is this…should McCain die or become unable to perform the duties of the presidency, is she a viable choice to assume those duties? And since McCain is 72 years old and a cancer survivor, the sad reality is that this is something people really have to consider. I’m just not sure it’s a smart choice.

I have had this window open for a couple of hours now, just trying to decide what to post about. The main thing in my head is the fact that my husband is currently in Asheboro, pitching to a company there in the hopes of picking up some work. I alternate between praying that things go well and feeling like I’m going to throw up from the nervousness.

As for the other stuff bouncing around in my brain, here’s just a sample…

• With the arrival of the new LUSH store in Raleigh at Crabtree Valley, I’ve finally been able to try a couple of bath bombs and LOVE them. Now I want to try their hair color. The idea of my grays becoming bright red is strangely appealing. Has anyone tried it? Does anyone want to have a LUSH hair color party with me?
• I have a hair appointment scheduled for tomorrow. I am anxious to see what she makes of my badly thinning hair. I’ve never had this problem while pregnant…it usually becomes very thick and pretty. Right now it’s dull, thin, and lifeless. Yuck.
• Nobody in town will pierce my nose while I’m pregnant. Which doesn’t surprise me, but there goes my fabulous 33rd birthday gift to myself. Oh well! I still plan to have it done, but it may be a little bit longer. I did find some really cool opal nose screws, though!
• As difficult as 2 year olds can be, this may also be my favorite age. Right now he’s running back and forth from the art table with various pieces of scribbled paper and saying “look, look!” He is SO proud of himself!
• Both boys have requested a baby sister. I hope they’re not disappointed if it’s a brother instead.
• Yes, we do know what causes pregnancy. Yes, we wanted another baby. No, we don’t care what your opinion is. Why do people think it’s OK to comment on this?
• I am excited about the location of the new YMCA, which will open right before the baby arrives. It will be about 5 minutes from our house and I plan to utilize it as soon as I’m cleared for exercise! I just hope our income permits it at that point.
• With just me and the youngest home today, I think wee’re going to go have lunch at McD’s and then head by Shoppes of Steele Street so I can get some *good* chocolate. Must go do something with my nasty hair and maybe put on some make-up…

As I frequently do, I was looking at my blog stats and seeing some of the searches that have brought people here.  And then I saw this.  And no joke, fell out of my chair from laughing.

how to deal with a crazy baby momma?

Now I’m just saying, and trying to do so without judgment, but you might have thought of that before you got her pregnant.  Just a suggestion.  (Yes, I know things happen and people change!  But still, people!)

Today, I heard a teenage girl repeatedly using the “r word” to describe everything from a pair of shoes someone was wearing to the way her little sister was acting. I cringed inwardly, just waiting for her mother to say something but not a word was uttered to tell her not to use that word so loudly in public. And now you’re probably all wondering what in the world I mean by the “r word.” You’re running through your repertoire of naughty words and hitting on nothing, right?

I mean the term retard or retarded. Maybe I’m alone, but I would no more use this term than I would the “n word” when referring to an African American or the “f word” when referring to homosexual behavior. And none of these words are appropriate to use in my home and my children would be punished for using them just like they would be if I heard one of them say that other “f word.” I think they’re all highly inappropriate and perpetuate negative stereotypes that are simply not true.

I’ve been told there’s a boycott being urged for the movie Tropic Thunder because it uses the “r word” repeatedly. I had no intentions of seeing it anyway because it’s not my cup of tea, so this is just one more reason not to bother. Maybe I’m just trying too hard to be PC, but this word honestly does make me cringe and I wish it would go the way of some of the other words I mentioned.

I don’t necessarily believe that, but in the past week I’ve heard of bad pregnancy outcomes from 2 people who were just a bit further along than me.  It goes without saying that I am devastated for them, but I’m also scared for me.  And though I know it’s unusual at this stage, it DOES happen.  At no point during pregnancy are you guaranteed a good outcome and a healthy baby at the end.  I always want to correct people when they say “Oh you’re out of the first trimester, it’s smooth sailing now.”  Because it’s not.  Bad things can happen anytime.  So I’m saying a lot of prayers for this baby to be safe and healthy inside me.  I’m getting nervous for my next ultrasound, which is the “big” one where we will find out how the baby is growing, if he (she?) is healthy and happy and appears to be “normal.”  Oh, and we’ll find out the sex…which is secondary to the health, of course!  So there is some excitement there, but there’s a lot of trepidation, too.

And because I have so many things knocking around in my brain, here’s a little brain dump…

Christina Applegate has breast cancer.  She’s only a few years older than me!  There is no history of BC in my family, but it’s terrifying to contemplate the idea.  It sounds like it was caught very early, so kudos to her docs and to her for being proactive.  It reminds me that I need to become more diligent about checking myself and maybe contemplate a baseline mammogram once this new baby is weaned.

I am in the baking mood.  I got a breadmaker from FreeCycle and have been printing out all kinds of recipes to try.  One I’m hoping works out well is an apple cinnamon oatmeal bread.  We spend a TON of money on Quaker oatmeal squares because my kids like them for breakfast.  I hope to replace them with something that will be cheaper and have fewer preservatives.  I hope they’ll eat it!  I also have a butter pecan rum cake recipe I want to try and many more bread recipes.  I’m hoping we can cut our food bill down some by making bread rather than buying it!

The kids are fighting over the Wii. *sigh*  We need some new games but just can’t afford that luxury right now.  Maybe for Christmas…

My hair has a ton of gray in it suddenly and I’m dying to go get highlights…I told my husband that’s the first thing I’m going to do when he gets his first paycheck from the company!  He has some quotes out now, so hopefully one of those will get picked up soon.  He’s also doing a lot of networking so I’m praying that we start getting some income from it soon.

The kids were approved for Medicaid last week, which is still really hard for me to deal with.  I was denied, but will be able to go reapply next week and should be approved.  They were able to get coverage based on our June income, but I was not.  I feel like such a drain on society, though God knows we’ve paid our dues.  I am confident it will be temporary and that we’ll be off of it in a year, but it’s such a hard thing to do when you’ve been told all your life that people who use these programs are leeches.  I am so grateful that the option is there for us, but I also can’t wait until we are able to get back on our feet and provide our own health care coverage.

I was planning to get my nose pierced for my 33rd birthday, which is coming up in a couple of months, but now I may not because I’m not sure it’s a good idea when you’re pregnant.  Plus there’s the whole money issue!  It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I just haven’t gotten up the courage, plus my husband was not a fan of the idea.  Well, I’ve decided I just don’t care and I’m going to get it done eventually, either for my birthday or after the baby is born.  So if you can recommend a piercer in Sanford, I’m all ears!  Or perhaps all nose…hahaha!

Or else it gets the hose again.

Does anyone else constantly think this while watching Erica Hahn’s character on Grey’s Anatomy. No? Just me?

And for those not getting the reference, Brooke Smith, who plays Dr. Hahn on Grey’s Anatomy was the Tennessee senator’s daughter who’d been kidnapped and kept in a pit by Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. How old is Brooke Smith, anyway? I swear she must be in her 40s because Silence of the Lambs is nearly 20 years old, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her! I think she looks better now than she did back then.

I know you’re all probably sick of hearing about it.  But it’s really consuming my life right now (that and the yellow jackets who have invaded my backyard so we can’t go out there) and I just am not smart enough to come up with something more interesting to blog about.

My girls names remain the same, though I’ve added Aislin (or Aislinn…I think I prefer the double N) to the list.  It was #1 on my list for a girl last time I was pregnant but obviously unused.  For those people who cannot pronounce Irish names, it’s pronounced Ashlyn.  But I really like the traditional Irish spelling and there’s always someone out there who wouldn’t pronounce it right even if we spelled it Ashlyn.  It would be Ashley, Ashleen, Ashen, Ashton, or whatever they could come up with.  My brother’s name is very straight forward.  Five letters, one syllable.  Even when he writes it down, people call him something else because it’s less common than another similar (but completely different in spelling!) name.  When I was younger, I would often tell people my name and they immediately started calling me Missy…because everyone named Melissa goes by Missy, don’t ya know?  (That’s completely sarcastic, by the way.  I hate the name Missy.)  If you must nickname me, call me Mel.  Most of my high school and college friends called me Mel and I loved having something a bit more unusual.  There will ALWAYS be someone who gets it wrong either by pronunciation or by turning it into something it’s not.  So I’ve decided I just really don’t care if people think it’s a funny way to spell it.  That is the original spelling and I like it.

For boys, Mattox is off the table, nixed by my husband.  But on the table now are Lucas, Harrison, Dawson, Duncan, Evan, and Quentin.  I am leaning toward Harrison right now…my mom’s dad was called Harry (full name Harold, I think?) and it’s kind of a neat variation.  Plus who wouldn’t want to be associated with the coolness of Harrison Ford every time somebody hears your name???

Today marks the official beginning of my 2nd trimester.  This is supposed to be the best one.  supposedly you’re not yet too big to be uncomfortable, the morning sickness goes away, energy returns, yadda yadda yadda.

That’s a big load of bull crap.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, it is *better* but it’s still not great.  Morning sickness could last a few more weeks, or it could continue throughout the pregnancy.  Both have happened to me before.  I’m feeling pretty humongous already, and I know this is barely the beginning.  I’m already having trouble getting comfy in bed, so I’m definitely still tired, I just don’t sleep that well.  And the peeing 2-3 times a night doesn’t help with that either.  The good news is that the 2 year old is definitely weaned and (mostly) sleeps through the night now.  Even when he doesn’t, he just comes in our room and joins us in bed.  He rarely wakes us, at least not enough to remember.

I am rejoicing to have reached this milestone, though.  Once in the 2nd trimester the chance of miscarriage drops dramatically so that worry is (mostly) gone.  It is possible that the nausea is going away.  As long as my stomach doesn’t get too empty I don’t feel terrible.  I have a bad habit of ignoring the hunger signs until it’s too late, though.

My biggest complaint is that my skin is doing something absolutely awful.  I am so broken out that I feel like I need to be wearing a bag over my head when I venture out of the house.  I feel so gross!  Normally I do have mild acne issues but this is really bad.  And I’ve never had such terrible problems with my skin while pregnant.  Usually my PCOS (which causes my regular acne) kind of goes into remission while pregnant but this time it’s not.  Just one more thing that makes me go hmmmmmmmm!

Yes, I bought 97 cents worth of hosting because I needed paid hosting to install something for a website I’m working on.  Don’t expect it to last long…I think my less-than-a-dollar’s worth of hosting will give me about a week without ads.

I’m letting go of my hosting for our family site because the money is due and well…I just can’t justify the expense right now.  Honestly, I haven’t done anything with it since I started our family blog so it’s probably not worth paying for anyway.  We renewed the domain, so at least nobody can steal that from us.

There are some major advantages to having an ad-free blog, though.  My visual editing option is back (YAY!) and I don’t have a huge string of ads at the top of my posting screen when it takes me forever to write a post.  Every time it saves, it tacks on another string of ads at the top and it’s incredibly annoying.  So I will enjoy all that my 97 cents bought me while I can and then moan and complain when it runs out.  Because that’s how I roll, baby!