How do I avoid becoming “that mom” but manage to be assertive?  This is a question that’s been on my mind since yesterday, when we made the 2nd trip to the pediatrician in 2 weeks for my oldest son.  The first time was after he’d woken up vomiting in the night and couldn’t even keep down Tylenol or Emetrol for more than 15 seconds.  I knew something was wrong, but didn’t assert myself and we were kind of blown off.  I suspected pneumonia again because his symptoms were so similar (including the vomiting, which is what alarmed me) but that was ruled out because of his lack of fever at the time.

So we left, feeling a little annoyed, but trusting that he was OK.  We had some recommendations to deal with his other symptoms which we’ve been using religiously.  But he didn’t get better.  Over Thanksgiving, his cough and other symptoms were remarked on several times by our families and I felt like I was being criticized for not taking good care of him…I know that wasn’t their intention, but it really bothered me.  Because we had been to the doctor.  We had done everything we were told.  So I felt a little helpless and I despise feeling that way.

Then Monday he was running on the playground at school which sent him into a coughing fit and caused him to vomit mucus.  There was no note sent home with this information, so I am having to go by what he told me happened.  And then yesterday his teacher called at lunchtime and asked us to come get him because he wasn’t feeling well and suggested we take him to the doctor.  Ironically, we already had an appointment scheduled because I knew things weren’t getting better.  But again, I felt criticized and like I had somehow screwed up.

So we go to the doctor and this time came home with 3 prescriptions.  He has a sinus infection.  I know he probably didn’t 2 weeks ago but he was well on his way at that point and I feel like more should have done to prevent it from getting to that point.  I had sinus infections frequently when we were living in South Carolina so I know he had to feel pretty bad but not once did he complain about anything other than queasiness.

So I know I screwed up by not asserting myself more at that first appointment and insisting that we come up with a better plan to manage the symptoms.  But how do I strike the balance between being assertive and being the mom everyone in the office hates to see?  I know there must be some way to do it but I haven’t figured it out in the 6 years I’ve been a parent.  True, he didn’t have a lot of health issues for the first 3 years of his life.  And it’s only gotten bad in the last couple of years, so I haven’t really had to figure this out until now.  It seems like all of motherhood is a delicate balancing act, so why is this one so hard for me?

I have had a very long week.  Sick child (thought it was pneumonia again, but looks to be just a virus) and lots of other things have kept me busy.  And so it feels like Friday to me…but we still have 2 days to go!  And it’s freaking cold outside…seriously, I live in the south because I don’t like the cold.  Why does it suddenly feel like February when it’s still November???  I nearly started crying when I stepped outside this afternoon and I could smell snow in the air.  (Yes, I’m one of those people who claims she can “smell” snow.)

I did have a wonderful night on Monday, though.  I met a group of friends at the Carolina Brewery in Pittsboro.  I thought it was just a regular girl’s night out, but they bought me dinner, gave me presents, and a HUGE bag of hand me down clothes for baby Violet.  It was a great night and I feel so lucky to have such great friends!

Every Monday morning, I volunteer 2 hours to help in my son’s kindergarten classroom.  It’s hard to wake up, but I’m always so glad when I get there.  I love watching how they learn things so I can bring it home and help him with his schoolwork.  And it’s a great opportunity for me to see how the teacher interacts with the students and how he behaves at school.

This morning, I got up just like every Monday morning and started getting ready.  And then it hit me…the morning sickness that has mostly been held at bay for weeks now came back full force.  I’ve had nausea in the mornings, but nothing like this.  Needless to say, I crawled back into bed and sent my husband in my place.  I envy the women who don’t spend the entire 9 months fighting their gag reflex or severe nausea.  I’ve never been sick enough to be diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, but it’s still pretty miserable.  I think this is one of my biggest reasons for not wanting to be pregnant again!

The worst part?  I pulled a muscle in my shoulder while I was throwing up and now it really, really hurts!  Time for the heating pad…

I have lots of stuff floating around in my head, so I’m just sticking with a brain dump post for today!  Sleeping, potty training, and Christmas gifts have all been big thoughts in my head over the last couple of days.

• Ambien = miracle drug.  Seriously!  I have been having so much trouble sleeping.  Even if I fall asleep easily, the slightest thing wakes me up and then I can’t get back to sleep.  I’ve been a walking zombie lately because I’m getting maybe 5-6 hours a night, but it’s not uninterrupted.  So my absolutely wonderful ob/gyn gave me a prescription to help me sleep and I got 8+ hours last night…in a row!  I feel like a new woman.
• My toddler is wearing Elmo underwear with a diaper over it.  He insisted on underwear this morning and has even tried to use the potty a couple of times.  No luck there, but the one accident he did have made him very unhappy.  I had to run out for a little while and he refused to change into a diaper, so I improvised by putting it on over his underwear.  So far, so good!  I’m going to buy him some more underwear and possibly some plastic pants tonight.  And I have a feeling there will be some more underwear in his stocking come Christmas morning…it would be fabulous to have him potty trained before January 20!
• Speaking of Christmas, it’s going to be necessarily slim this year, but we bought the first Christmas gift yesterday.  My youngest son is getting a Cabbage Patch Kid newborn.  He has been stealing his big brother’s baby for weeks now and nursing it and playing with it, so I thought I’d get him his own.  Like him, it is a little boy with blond hair and it has a brightly colored outfit rather than something pastel or girly.  I was thrilled to find it at Walmart yesterday and even more thrilled with the price…only $16.88!  That will serve as his big present and the rest will be smaller stuff…a new toothbrush, underwear, and maybe a DVD or 2 featuring his favorite character, Mickey Mouse.
• My oldest is harder.  It’s getting difficult to find gifts under $20 for him.  I am leaning toward a used Wii game if I can find something at GameStop he’d like.  Otherwise his list looks a lot like his little brother’s…toothbrush, underwear, and maybe the Wall-E DVD.  They’ll both get gifts from other family members, so I feel like this is a good (albeit shorter than in years past!) list.
• As for me, I want a million things as usual and likely won’t get any of them.  I tend to have expensive desires!  Since we’re not giving many gifts this year, I’m not expecting much, if anything.  (Let this serve as a warning…if you’re not my kids or a husband, you won’t be getting anything from me this year.  I’m sorry!  Even the husband is a toss-up.)  Honestly, the best gift will be here in January.  I really couldn’t ask for more than that…

For 4 years, I’ve been counting down to January 20, 2009.  I had no idea just how significant this day would turn out to be in my life…not only are we inaugurating the first African American president, (let’s face it, this is a huge thing for our country, no matter who you voted for) but my daughter is going to be born that day.

I had originally hoped for a January 19 c-section since that’s MLK day and my oldest son is off school.  But my doctor wasn’t available for surgery that day so I went with my 2nd choice.  I’ve updated my ticker.  It still shows how far along I am, but now also counts down to the exact day of her birth.  Apparently It’s only 67 days from today.  YIKES!!!

Otherwise all is on track.  There were a couple of small concerns but nothing to get worried about just yet.  I am so very thankful for this (mostly) uneventful pregnancy.  And also for having a date to count down to!