Family Category

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Progress on the Potty Front

I can safely say that I have only 1 child in diapers.  Oh, we still put one on him at night but it’s staying dry…and he won’t even let me put a PullUp on him when we go out.  It must be underwear!  He has done a great job of letting me know when he needed to go.  I was at Walmart yesterday with all 3 kids and a friend when he suddenly announced “I need to pee!”  Let me tell you, it was a mad dash to the bathroom.  I was hurting and wearing flip flops so I couldn’t go very fast but I ran through that place as fast as I possibly could and he held it until we got there.  I was so proud of him!

I’ve also tackled the issue of convincing him to pee inside.  He only wants to go outside once a day or so and I’m fine with that for now.  My next big hurdle is getting him to poop in the potty.  He hasn’t done it yet and his daddy promised him a trip to Chuck E. Cheese if he did.  (I was not consulted on this offer, by the way.  I hate that place with a fiery passion.)  We have been awaiting some, uh, movement in that direction for 2 days now but he seems to be holding it.  He doesn’t want to in the potty but doesn’t want to in his underwear, either.  I offered him a diaper and told him it would be OK, but no dice.  We went through this with my oldest, so I’m not concerned yet but eventually this will become a problem that we need to deal with.  For now, I am content with his great track record for peeing in the potty.

And for those who don’t “get it” let me just say that I would have laughed if you told me 10 years ago that having 1 less child in diapers would be a huge triumph.  I never imagined I would become the person who bragged about their child’s bathroom habits!

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Potty Training

My middle child is now 3.5 years old and still in diapers.  My oldest child was similar…it was very difficult to potty train him and once we stopped pushing, he trained himself and never had another major accident.  We decided to try this again, only from the beginning with no pushing.  We gently ask, remind him of the fun things he could do if he used the potty, bought fun underwear, offered rewards, etc.  The only thing we didn’t do is force it.

Well, I want him in preschool next year and that requires potty training.  Plus diapers are a huge waste of money that could be spent elsewhere.  I’m done waiting patiently and today is the day.  My husband is on break so we have 4 days in a row where he can be here to help me make sure someone can attend to potty needs as they arise.

I finally convinced Colin to wear underwear sometime around 11AM.  He wouldn’t put on a new shirt, so he is wearing a pajama shirt, Elmo underwear, and Baby Legs. (Baby Legs are sort of like a cross between legwarmers and socks, they cover the entire leg with elastic at the top to hold them up but don’t have feet.)  He didn’t want to use the little potty we have or the big toilet, so every 15 minutes my husband is taking him out on the back porch and letting him make his potty attempts in a more natural setting.

I am not sure what is funnier…seeing his little bare behind above his striped Baby Legs while he makes his attempts outside or the victory dance my husband did for him when he succeeded!  It’s been a great day at this mama’s house.  And the best part?  No accidents yet!  Maybe this will be easier than I anticipated.  Hope springs eternal in my heart…

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Snow…again?

Like many people, I live in the south because I don’t care for cold weather.  I am content with one snowstorm a year that drops just enough snow to play in, but not enough to keep me home for more than a day or two.  And preferably, that day or two needs to come with a day off for my husband, not just my school age child.  And I definitely need advance notice…at least a day or two!

This winter has been hard for the (many) people like me in this area.  Much colder than normal and more snow than we’re used to have made it rather unpleasant.  Yesterday, we had a winter weather advisory for the evening and overnight.  We were expecting a dusting of snow on grassy and elevated surfaces.  Lee County Schools did not make a decision about school (despite the fact that it looked like the snow was going to be worse than expected) so I went to bed around 1AM.  As I walked through the house, I was surprised to look out the window and realize that the street was white.  There were already 2-3 inches of snow and no signs that it was letting up.  Hmmmmm…do you think they missed the forecast a little?

As I was laying in bed watching LOST (our satellite had gone out around 11:30 so I was relying on the DVR for my bedtime wind-down since my insomnia was bad) the power went out several times, but kept coming back on.  I finished LOST and moved on to The Biggest Loser, but about 5 minutes in the power went off and stayed that way.  This was 2AM.  I called Progress Energy immediately and laid back down, but my bedtime ritual of watching TV wasn’t possible so sleep didn’t come easily.  I think I fell asleep around 3:30, but Violet woke at about 4AM and I was in a lot of pain so I didn’t get much sleep the remainder of the night.  At some point Progress Energy called to tell me the power would be back on by 6AM, but that would turn out to be untrue.  Sometime around 6AM the school called to let us know that the kids were out today (Duh, ya think?) and I dozed off and on for another hour then finally got up because it was just too cold to sleep.  Still no power, and as I look out the window I notice that our trees and bushes are really weighed down with snow and I’m guessing we have an easy 6 inches or more.  It’s not looking good to get heat any time soon…

We got the kiddos up, dressed, and headed out to find a warm place to go.  My preschooler started crying when we told him he couldn’t play outside since there was no place to get warmed up afterwards.  With no TV and internet only via phone, we had no idea how bad it was in Lee County.  Our neighborhood was a mess…lots of trees and branches down.  The roads were pretty bad but we made it down to Walmart.  We walked around for a while, my preschooler crying the whole time, and finally decided to go someplace where they could play.  McDonald’s was packed, but warm, so we got some coffee and sat down to let the boys play…my oldest took off and was content to entertain himself climbing through the play structure.  My preschooler refused to play and continued to cry, stopping only when my husband got him some apples and juice.  That reprieve didn’t last long and then he started complaining that his ear hurt.  Suddenly the whining and crying made sense!  We called the pediatrician who said they could get us right in so we headed over there.

After a quick appointment, an ear infection (his first!) was confirmed and we headed back down to Walmart to get the prescriptions filled.  Stopped at Wendy’s for lunch, then returned to pick up the drugs, only to find out they didn’t have one of them.  UGH!!!  Thus began the hunt for a pharmacy that had it, as well as a place to spend the rest of the day since we had been told at this point not to expect power before 6PM.  We finally obtained the needed medication and landed at church, where I helped get some things together for our big move this weekend.  Sometime around 3PM, Progress Energy called my cell phone to see if we had power yet.  This had already happened at least 3 times and not once had we been able to say yes.  I called the house again and got the answering machine.  FINALLY!  Electricity!  Of course, by this point there hadn’t been any heat for 13 hours so it was too cold to go home right away anyway.  When I finally did return home, I was utterly exhausted.  The lack of sleep and state of high awareness (being out with kids is always much more difficult than staying home with them) I’d been in all day just about did me in.

So here I am, at 8:45, contemplating going to bed.  I can assure you that my bedtime prayers will include begging God to bring spring to North Carolina.  I can’t take much more of winter!

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

The Mother I Wish I Was

Let’s all pretend I haven’t completely disappeared for several weeks, shall we?

Today I’ve been thinking about all of my (perceived) shortcomings.  Yuck.  Let’s just say that of all the things I am lazy about, the one aspect of my life I regret most is my parenting.  That’s not to say I think I am a bad parent…but just that I wish I was doing more.  For example, I would love to home school my children.  I think it can be a superior option for those prepared to put the time and effort into it.  Especially considering some of the stuff we’ve dealt with this year at public school!

Unfortunately, I’m just not cut out for it.  I’m not organized enough, not patient enough, not motivated enough, not social enough…the list goes on and on.  I guess it’s a good thing I recognize this, rather than doing it and not giving my children what they need to be successful in life.  I have several friends who do home school and I am constantly in awe of them.  They are truly dedicated to it and have children who are well adjusted and intelligent.

I am trying to homeschool my younger son right now, though.  We can’t afford preschool, I’m not impressed with the public option and I’m worried that he won’t be prepared for kindergarten if I let Noggin (NickJr?) educate him.  But just getting him to sit down for 30 minutes every day and concentrate on it is nearly impossible.

I have managed to teach him shapes and colors.  My plan is to work on numbers and letters next.  But I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard for me…that I’m somehow not a good mother because I think this is hard and don’t quite know how to go about it.

There’s nothing like a good dose of “You suck at this!” when it comes to your kids.  But really, do the bad parents ever doubt their abilities?  Probably not.  And maybe for that reason alone I’m doing an OK job.

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Already?

Today is Violet’s first birthday.  I don’t know how this happened…I blinked and her first year was over!  She went from being a tiny little blob to being a walking talking little girl whose favorite word is “up!” and a personality bigger than she is.  She has her daddy and her big brothers wrapped around her finger.  Not me, of course.  I stand strong in the face of her sweet smile and charm.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I adore her just like they do and pretty much give her everything she wants.

She’s very petite, which means people are often surprised to see her walking.  She’s smaller than most of the babies in the nursery at church, which is a little strange because she’s one of the oldest!  She looks just like I did as a baby…so much so that when I had a baby picture of me on Facebook last week a friend was really surprised to find out that it wasn’t Violet.

She loves to eat and we’re giving her more and more table food.  Right now she’s walking around with an empty bowl and a fistful of pretzels, grunting at me to get her more.  She’s outgrown her wheat allergy, obviously!  I’m still nursing her and don’t see that coming to an end any time soon.  That’s fine…I’m in no rush to wean her and give up that connection.

We’re still struggling with her sleep patterns.  She wakes up the minute we try to put her in the crib and screams her head off but if I put her in there awake she screams her head off, too.  Like her older brother, we’re co-sleeping now and expect she’ll be happy in her own bed before her 2nd year is over.

She has brought us tremendous joy and a sense of contentment.  She is a tremendous blessing to our family and I don’t know how we ever got along without her.

Happy Birthday Violet!!!

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

A Decade Remembered: Wedding

Last decade was pivotal for me.  It’s the decade in which I truly became an adult, a wife, and a mother.  I lost my father to cancer, moved away from my hometown and family and then moved to 2 more places.  Bought and sold multiple houses.  Learned a lot, laughed a lot, loved a lot.  It had it’s good and it’s bad for sure, but overall it has been the best decade of my life yet.

The first pivotal moment of the decade was probably my engagement…October 7, 2000.  My wedding day was exactly 6 months later on April 7, 2001.  We’d found out just days before the wedding that my dad had terminal lung cancer (after months of failed diagnoses) and I suggested holding off a few months until things were a little less dramatic, but nobody would hear of it.  People were coming from out of town, everything was paid for already.  It was better to go ahead.  Nobody said it but we all thought it…if I didn’t do it then my dad wouldn’t be there.

So we went ahead.  I had my portraits done a few days before the wedding.  Afterwards, I went to the hospital, still in my dress and hair and make-up all done.  We wanted to be sure my daddy saw me in case he didn’t get to the wedding.  People stared.  They asked questions.  When we explained, the pity in their eyes was painful.

The weather on my wedding day was beautiful.  Warm, sunny…it was exactly what I’d hoped for.  My dad was released from the hospital for the festivities and was able to walk me down the aisle and give me away.  He was wearing house slippers, but he was there and I’m pretty sure nobody realized or cared what was on his feet.  He forgot to lift my veil before he sat down and so I was behind it for the entire ceremony.  I liked it that way, though.  It kept me calm for some reason.  Fully involved but slightly removed from it all.  When my brand new husband lifted it to kiss me at the end, it felt very symbolic.

At the reception my parents danced.  I’m sure I’ve shared this here before, but I stood in a corner and sobbed.  I think everyone in the room was teary-eyed….even the caterers.  We all knew it would be the last time they danced together.  It was so hard to watch.  I was beginning my married life and my parent’s was coming to an end, not because of divorce or something that made sense, but because of cancer.  A cancer that had moved so fast and so quietly that he had less than 6 weeks from diagnosis to death.  It seemed so wrong and so incredibly unfair.

When it came time for us to leave, I asked my mom where the bubbles were.  I was working and hadn’t had a chance to go pick them up.  I’d asked her to do it for me but she forgot in the midst of everything else.  There were a few moments of panic but the caterers came to our rescue with huge bowls of rice.  The whole evening was absolutely beautiful and perfect, considering the circumstances.  The memories are bittersweet but it was right.  The events surrounding that time of my life are painful but in the middle of it all I married the man I’d loved for over 7 years in an absolutely beautiful and perfect ceremony.  It was such a blessing in that difficult period of time.

Friday, January 1st, 2010

Hermits No More

We’ve moved so much in the 8 (almost 9!) years of our marriage that we’ve never settled down and made a really serious effort to make friends.  Last year that all changed and I am now blessed with some of the best and most encouraging friends I’ve ever had.  (And yes, I’m getting all misty-eyed because 2009 was an awesome year for new friendships!)  It is a wonderful feeling to know that I can call on any of them to help me out in a pinch, or just cry happy tears together, or squeal over new movies like teenagers, or any one of a million things I’ve been missing for a long time.

But I’ll be brutally honest…my house was very neglected because when you’ve spent such a long time without friends or family who come over or visit often, it’s hard to make the effort to keep it neat.  It’s easier to just throw up your hands and say “Well, nobody see it but us, anyway!” and simply allow it to get worse and worse.  It wasn’t at hoarder level yet but it was definitely something I would have been embarrassed by if anyone had just dropped by and expected to hang out!

All that changed when my mom decided to come visit for Christmas.  After finals were over I started straightening and cleaning like a madwoman and while my house still isn’t perfect (my office is full of *stuff* that needs to be gone through and/or gotten rid of and my bedroom is a wreck and I would die if anyone went in there right now) but it’s presentable.  Which made me decide I needed to host a gathering.  And I decided this on Christmas Day.  And decided to have it today…which gave me exactly one week to prepare.

I was a little bit (um, make that a LOT) stressed, but it went off very well.  There were 30 people (kids and adults) in my house this evening, playing, eating, talking, laughing…and it was fun.  There were definitely moments where I felt overwhelmed by it, but those aforementioned friends helped me hold it together.  They brought food, they made me laugh, they held my baby while I was trying to deal with other things, and they even cleaned my kitchen and made sure all of the toys got picked up before they left.  It was a great way to start 2010, and it’s made me realize that with a house that’s being regularly maintained I can do stuff like this.

I don’t like resolutions because I don’t stick to them, but I’m making it a goal to invite someone over at least once a week.  Whether it’s a playdate, a movie night, dinner, or whatever I can come up with…because tonight made me happy and it reminded me of how blessed I am to have this home and these friends.  Plus it will keep me motivated to make sure my house is neat and maintained.  It’s a win-win!

Friday, December 11th, 2009

Saturday Struggles

Lest this post be misconstrued, I want to say right up front that I 100% support my husband and hope that real estate makes him happy and brings us financial reward as well.  That said, I miss him on Saturdays.  In the old days, this was one of our family days.  We planned to spend it together, somehow…either doing something fun outside the house or just hanging out at home.  It was a day to regroup and reconnect and it was just fun.  But now, he’s always doing realtor-y things and I am left home alone with 3 children who don’t understand why their daddy isn’t home playing with them.  I am not very good about taking them all out on my own because it’s hard to keep up with 3 small kids when you only have 1 pair of eyes.  My friends are always busy with their families on Saturday because most of them have husbands who work Monday-Friday jobs.  Like our old life, it’s family day for them.

Suddenly, Saturday has gone from being one of my favorite days to my least favorite day.  Every time I hear about some fun, family oriented activity I get excited.  And then I remember…Saturday isn’t family day for us any more.  It’s a difficult adjustment for all of us.

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Black Friday

Friday I did something I’ve never done before…I got up at 3:30AM on the day after Thanksgiving to go Christmas shopping.  As I said on my Facebook status that morning, being poor makes you do crazy things!  I couldn’t afford the luxury of spending regular price on Christmas gifts this year…the budget is miniscule compared to years past and we wanted to get as much as we could.  All 3 kids got left with my mom while my husband and I braved the stores.  We were in Knoxville, so had all kinds of retail options which was nice.  I do miss having that in Sanford!

Our first stop was Walmart.  We had told our son that if he truly wanted a Nintendo DS that he could use the money he’d saved to buy one.  That was our Christmas present to him.  A little sneaky and probably not a great move, but it was the only way we could afford to get him something that he really wanted.  So when I saw that Walmart would have DS Lites for $98 on Black Friday they came first on my plan of attack.  We got in line at about 4:15AM and got one of the last tickets available for that item.  At 5AM the line started moving quickly and by 5:05AM we had a red Nintendo DS Lite in our hands.  I had already been to the toy section to see if any of the other items on our list were on sale but they weren’t, so we headed to the checkout immediately.  Along with EVERYONE else in the store.  It was a madhouse.  It probably took a good 45 minutes to get checked out.  While my husband stood in line I grabbed a couple of other things…breastpads (because it was time to nurse Violet but she was at my mom’s house, thus I had a minor problem) and chocolate covered cherries, my mom’s favorite treat.  We got checked out (FINALLY!) and headed to Kohl’s for 50% off Fisher Price toys.

Once we got to Kohl’s, we saw that their checkout line was wrapped around the entire store.  I directed my husband to go stand in it and headed for the toy section.  I had a list of things I wanted to get for Violet that included a Fisher Price tea set, a purse, and a princess hooded towel.  I found them all, along with some stocking stuffers and hooded towels for the boys, a couple of DS games, a dragon set for my younger son, and a pastel girly shape sorter for Violet.  We spent almost our entire budget there, but got it all for about half regular price.  Can’t beat that!

We were checked out by 7AM and thought we’d stop at a couple more stores, just to see if we could find anything else we were looking for on sale.  We couldn’t, so we headed back to my mom’s house.  We were back there by about 8AM and pretty much done with the Christmas shopping.  I have to say…it was a little bit of a rush saving so much money even though I had to drag myself out of the nice warm bed at a time that I’m usually deep in dreamland.  I have a few more things I have to get and then when my mom gets here I’m taking her to buy gifts for the kids.

We’ll have toys under the tree this year.  Maybe not as many as in years past, but that’s OK…it will give us a chance to focus more on the real reason for the holiday.  And maybe, in the coming years, we can remember this year and how happy the kids were with less stuff.

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Sickness is in my house.  No fevers, so I think we’re spared H1N1 (for now) but Violet isn’t sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time, and it must be on someone.  The boys are irritable and I just want to get in the car and drive away from it all.  Please God, let them feel better soon!

(On a good note, I did get in 3 workouts this week…2 days of running and 1 day on elliptical.  Go me!)

  • I am a mom to 3 living in Sanford, NC. I am a wife. I am a student. I am a Christ follower. I am a friend. This is the craziness of my life.
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