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Archive for the ‘Faith/Religion’ Category

We must be doing something right!

03 Jan

Christmas was scaring me. I didn’t know how we could afford to buy gifts for the kids, much less anyone else. But people stepped up to help us…someone bought gifts for the kids so that Santa would be able to stop at our house. Then we suddenly received a little over $1000 from various sources and we were able to not only make sure the kids had gifts, but we also were able to get caught up on some bills and buy much needed shoes and clothing for ourselves. I couldn’t believe the blessings we received so unexpectedly from friends and family!

And then, on New Years Eve, my father-in-law called. My husband’s parents and his aunt and uncle had bought us a new mini van. They would be delivering it sometime after midnight on New Years Day. It’s nothing fancy, but it runs and we can fit all of the children and their carseats into it! We’re once again a 2 car family. But most significantly, with a spare vehicle that will hold 3 carseats, I can get a job wherever I can find one. UNC, Moore Regional, WakeMed…all of these hospitals are now options for employment. Another option is home health care, something I’d really love to explore because I think it would give me some insight into what I might experience as a hospice nurse, since many of these positions are traveling/home health care positions.

So I don’t know what we’ve done to deserve such largesse, but I have to say that it’s so appreciated. We’re still struggling with the mortgage, but I believe that will work itself out if we’re meant to stay in this house. So this year has started off well. Hopefully it will continue to go well and be much, much better than 2010 was!

 
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Posted in Faith/Religion, Me Stuff, Money/Finances

 

Christmas Wishes

18 Dec

Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I had to admit that I just didn’t know. All of my focus this year has been on making sure the kids receive gifts and though there’s plenty of stuff I want, I just hadn’t even thought I might receive gifts, too. Of course this had me thinking…

First and foremost, I want my kids to have all of their needs met. Luckily, we’re able to continue doing this with the help of others occasionally. Food, clothes, and shelter with heat and running water are being maintained for the time being. No greater gift than that, right? Unfortunately, we don’t know how long the shelter part will be available. Our mortgage payment hasn’t been paid since August because our total monthly income has been less than the mortgage since then. We’ve managed to cover everything else (Thank God!) but we owe the mortgage company an astronomical amount of money right now…on January 1st, we’ll be about $5000 behind and I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to make up such a huge deficit. So if I had to choose one thing, it would be to a) get that mortgage caught up and b) earn enough money to maintain it from here on out. Luckily that second wish is within our grasp with my husband’s new part time job and the job opportunities I now have. And we’re hopeful that the mortgage company will work with us on that first part…it would be great if we could stay in our home and minimize the upheaval to the kids.

But frivolously? What would I ask for if there was a magical dude in a red suit who gives gifts to not just children, but adults who need a little something? That’s a bit harder, but the number one thing I would like to have is an electric blanket. Crazy, right? But with the recent bone-chilling cold and the need to keep our thermostat low so we can afford the electric bill, my bedroom (the coldest room in the house) has been absolutely arctic at night. Even sleeping in sweats and fuzzy socks doesn’t keep me warm. Electric blankets are pretty expensive, if you can even find them…and for a king size bed they can cost as much as $100. A cheaper alternative would be a small space heater, something that we could turn on long enough to warm the room up before we go to bed so it’s a bit easier to get comfortable and go to sleep. A warm bed would be a lovely Christmas gift!

As for the other things I want, they’re unimportant. There’s a long list of things that I’ve wanted for a while and haven’t gotten due to cash flow problems but the truth is they just don’t matter much to me any more. I’ve learned what’s really important in life and that is a true gift. My faith, my family, and love sustain me on the days when I start thinking life can’t possibly get worse. With those three things I know I can face anything. My hope for you this Christmas is that you experience the same gift. Merry Christmas, and thanks for reading, commenting, and sending your prayers and good wishes to me and my family!

 
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Posted in 12 Days of Christmas, Faith/Religion, Family, Me Stuff

 

Learning to Trust

03 Nov

My silence is deafening, I know. Several people have emailed to check up on me and I so appreciate the kind thoughts and words. Nothing really awful has happened, but there’s not much good, either. My husband’s unemployment ran out and we’re really feeling that loss of income. He’s still teaching, but the small amount that comes in through that doesn’t even come close to paying all of the bills for a family of 5. A lot is going unpaid and I suspect it’s only a matter of time before things become desperate. I pray a lot and hope for things to happen soon. (Want to buy a house? I know a really awesome realtor!)

The good news is that I am taking my CNA licensing exam on Friday. Hopefully I’ll pass and can get a job right away. The money won’t be great, but the work should be available and flexible enough that I can continue school and be home for my kids in the evenings. That’s the best case scenario, especially since I’ll be earning experience in the healthcare field. All of the (non-medical) office jobs I’ve been called to interview for have required full time work during normal business hours, something I can’t commit to right now because I can’t afford to quit this far into the semester. Especially since I had a midterm average over 100 points…I need an A in this very difficult class!

I figured if the CNA thing didn’t pan out, I would just take my one remaining pre-req class in the evening this spring and work at the first place that called me. And then the spring class schedule got released and the only class I need wasn’t available at night and it conflicted with the classes my husband expected to teach. Which creates an additional 2 problems: childcare and transportation. We only have one reliable vehicle now and there’s no way we could afford to pay for childcare the 2 mornings a week we’d have overlapping schedules. But if he didn’t teach, I couldn’t afford to keep going in school. But we can’t afford for me to quit at this point…it was such a catch-22 and I finally just asked God to work it out if He truly was calling me to be a nurse.

Less than 24 hours later, the solution was handed to us. He’ll be teaching 2 classes again, but one is online only and the other is a hybrid that doesn’t conflict with my class schedule. So clearly I just needed to step back and give up the worrying and let God handle it. You’d think I would have learned this lesson by now, but apparently I needed a reminder. (Hey God…could you help me figure out a way to pay the mortgage, too? Thanks! You’re awesome!)

 
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Posted in Back to School, Faith/Religion, Me Stuff

 

Lending a Helping Hand

30 Sep

In the past 2+ years, I have learned so much. I feel like I’m gaining knowledge and insight to myself and my family that I never would have done had we not been forced into this position. It’s really been an opportunity for me to grow as a person. Perhaps most of all, I have learned simple ways to help people because I’ve now been in a position of needing help. When this whole period of poverty is behind me (and it will be, someday!) I will be able to do small things that I never would have thought of before but can help tremendously when a family is put into the position we’re in.

Certainly give cash if you can, because it is ultimately the most useful commodity…it can be used for any need, whether that’s food, electricity, or a mortgage payment. Of course, handing over your own hard earned money can be hard, no matter how well you know someone. How can you be sure those funds will be used in a way you find appropriate? I’ll be the first to admit that I have a hard time with this so I rarely gave money, but I have learned that there are many other ways to help during a crisis situation. If you know a family in need, consider doing some of these things for them.

  • If the financial situation is due to job loss, remember that a working phone number, email address, and internet access can be crucial to finding new employment. Call up the phone or internet provider and ask if you can pay an amount towards the family’s bill. It helps to know the address and phone number of the account, as well as the name it’s listed under. Or, if it’s something you’d be comfortable doing, consider adding an extra line to your cell plan and paying it until the situation improves. Sometimes you can do this for $10 a month under a share plan. (Be sure to talk to them first…they will probably need to try to keep the same number if they’ve listed it on resumes or job applications.)
  • Electricity and running water are necessities…to prepare food, to bathe, to keep the home cool or warm…a home without electricity and water isn’t incredibly useful. Again, call the utility office and tell them you’d like to pledge something to the family’s bill. It doesn’t have to be a large amount. Amounts as small as $5 or $10 can make or break a tight budget, especially in periods of extreme high or low temperatures.
  • Gift cards in small amounts to places like grocery stores, gas stations, Walmart/Target, and restaurants are very helpful. This could mean a family can get food to feed themselves, gasoline to drive to that job interview, toilet paper and shampoo, or ensure they get a meal if there’s an emergency or other situation that keeps them from being able to eat at home. (Just for example, the night our chicken burned so badly that we had to go out to eat because it was inedible and the house was too smoky for my asthmatic kids to be in.)
  • Gift cards for periodic services like haircuts and oil changes. When we have months that we have to do these things, that means some other budget area gets shorted because our budget is so tight. Better yet, offer to do it for them or teach them how to do it themselves. I have never cut my own hair but if someone took the time to help me learn how I might do it.
  • Give them your unused coupons. Or pay for a subscription to the paper in your area that offers the most coupons. Here, that’s the News & Observer. For less than $10, you can give them 4 weeks worth of Sunday papers delivered right to their home. For less than $30, you get 13 weeks of the Sunday paper. Not only do you get coupons in the Sunday paper, but that day generally has the most help wanted ads. Two birds, one stone, right? (Side note: If you do this, consider adding a second paper so they can have 2 of each coupon…in many places you can get a discount on the second one.)
  • If they have kids, offer to keep them for a few hours so that the parents can have a breather. For single parents, this means a chance to go get groceries without little ones. For married people, this can give them a chance to have a date, even if that’s just a quiet dinner at home. (This is another place that restaurant gift cards come in handy!) No matter how much we want to say that time away from our children isn’t a necessity, it can make a lot of difference in the mental state (or the marriage) of someone who’s already under extreme stress.
  • Offer to pay for children’s activities. My mom is paying for Cub Scouts for my oldest son. He won’t get to do everything because there will always be activities that cost extra, but she paid for his dues and his uniform so that he can have an extra-curricular activity. Many Parks & Rec departments offer sports, dance lessons, and classes for kids at a very low cost. (Think as low as $15 in some cases.)
  • Search your attic and closets for clothes and items they might be able to use. If they have children, this is especially helpful. My goal these days is to keep my kids dressed. While I do want them to wear nice clothes that are in style, it is more important that they not be naked. I’m not picky and most people in similar positions have learned to put aside their pickiness when it comes to clothes. (The one exception for me is underwear…I do not want my kids in someone else’s underwear. Beyond that, I’m not in a position to care.)

Most of all, be there for them. Understand that they want to do things with their friends and loved ones but money can be an obstacle. I don’t have people over for dinner because I can’t afford to buy extra food. This means nobody invites my family over to dinner, and that hurts. When my girlfriends go out, I may not be able to spend the money on gas or I might feel guilty going to a place and just having water so I stay home, which can mean the invitations stop. Don’t forget about them, and don’t stop inviting unless they tell you to. Pray for them. Let them know you haven’t forgotten them. Send an email to remind them you care. It’s the little things that mean the most in a crisis, especially when that crisis becomes a long term problem. I would be way more touched by someone taking the time to make dinner for my family and bring it to us than to receive $5000. (Not that I’d turn down the $5k!) Think outside the box and remember that mental health is just as important as financial health. You can make a difference to someone.

 
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Posted in Couponing, Faith/Religion, Money/Finances

 

Positive Affirmations

26 Sep

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I am fighting some really serious anxiety about it and have spent the better part of the last 2 days trying to a) not give into panic attacks and b) remind myself that I can do this. I’ve kept up a running litany of positive affirmations and I feel the need to type them for some strange reason:

  • I’m smart.
  • I’m qualified.
  • I’m capable.
  • I’m good with people.
  • I’m pretty. (This was my husband’s contribution…not a necessity, but it makes me feel better about myself.)

And I’m trusting in God’s provision. I’m finding encouraging verses and repeating them to myself, to remind me that I need to trust in Him, not just in myself. These in particular have calmed me:

Do you have a particular affirmation or saying that you use or a Bible verse that lifts you up? Would you share it? I hate to be so abstract (I suspect many of you have guessed, if you’re a regular reader. And if you’ve found me on Facebook, some details are there.) but I can’t give into the anxiety by trying to explain the events of the last few days. Suffice to say that I could really use some encouragement for tomorrow. If you have anything you’d like to share, just click on the comment link to the right of this post, right under the date. And soon, I’ll spill the details. Until then, just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Tomorrow is a step in the right direction, as terrifying as it is. The sun is coming up, and I am starting to have hope again.

 
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Posted in Faith/Religion, Me Stuff

 
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