I am awash in personal drama that has me in a terrible fog. The nausea continues, though I know I’m not pregnant. I have no idea what is causing it, but it really, really sucks. It is constant and incredibly annoying. And I just feel generally not quite right…little headaches, falling asleep when I shouldn’t, sudden weight gain, and emotional…I suspect it’s nothing more than stress, but it’s incredibly frustrating.
Then there’s my computer…it is, I believe, dead. I manage to grab my husband’s a few times a day, but not for long and I never manage to get the things done that I intend to do. I can boot my computer and open a program. I can even use it for a few minutes, but then it locks up or sends me to the blue screen of death. I have decided that upgrading the RAM is my last resort and that costs money we don’t have. My printer isn’t working anymore, either. I think it needs ink, but can’t afford that either. (And if you’ve sent me an email and I didn’t reply, I missed it. There are 73 new emails in my box and I hate trying to wade through them on my phone. Send me a text if it’s important…)
And the money thing is always there…can I afford to buy shampoo this week? What about toilet paper? Oh, and don’t forget that there is a shut-off notice for the electricity sitting on your desk. Better get that paid. The good news is that I finally convinced my husband that we can no longer afford the satellite bill. We had run out of all of our “special offers” and the price jumped way back up and they wouldn’t go back down. So we shut it off. I’m having some minor withdrawal, but am glad to have one less monthly expense.
And the beginning of the semester is always a little fog-inducing. Moreso with the drama over the class and pre-requisites. I’m overwhelmed at how far behind I already feel. I need to type up my notes and study for lab quizzes and do homework assignments, all of which are impossible to do when the kids are up, and I’m too mentally exhausted to do once they’re down.
Speaking of kids, I feel like I have 500, not 3. One in school already, one about to start. They need to be on opposite sides of town, with drop off and pick up at the same time. How will we manage this on the weeks that we can only afford to put gas in 1 car? The logistics alone make me want to cry, especially since pick-up needs to happen while I’m supposed to be in class on Mondays and Wednesdays! I have no idea how we’re going to make this work, but I guess we will somehow. And once I’m home alone with just one child, how is that going to affect my day? Will I have less time to spend on other stuff, or more? One less child to deal with, but the one that’s left is all alone. Anxious to see how that will work! (Really, if anyone has experienced this, fill me in…is having only 1 more work than having 2?)
I want, no I need, to run but can’t fit it in. It’s too hot at the time of day that I can manage it and I’m too tired to do it when it’s cool enough. I suspect this would do wonders for my overall state of mind and I hope the weather cools down soon so I can do it.
Crap, my computer time is up. I swear, number one on my list of things to do is buy some RAM. And pray that fixes the problem…
