Kids don’t like to let go of toys. We have a huge toy problem here due to some family members. They don’t spend more than anyone else, but they deal in quantity…where someone else might buy 1 big toy that the kids really want for $25, these people will go to garage sales, dollar stores, and clearance racks so they can get more items (and generally a bunch of smaller things) for their money. Not a bad trait, but it’s beginning to cause a major toy overgrowth problem. They love the kids to a degree that even I can’t imagine at times and we see them only rarely. I suspect there is a degree of guilt about the lack of time spent together and they’re trying to compensate. There’s more to the story, but I’ll leave it at that. I love them and don’t want to say anything that would hurt them, even unintentionally.
So back to the topic at hand…this toy problem is getting ridiculous. We have a metric crap ton of toys, many that the kids don’t ever play with. I try to make them choose one toy to go out every time another comes in but I find that the drama is often not worth it. Unfortunately, I’m often fighting my husband as much as I am the kids. I wouldn’t mind so much if they were good about cleaning up after themselves, but cleaning up is often an ordeal that ends in screaming, slammed doors, and tears. Usually from me. But there are toys everywhere. I even find them in my bed sometimes. It is making me crazy and I need to get rid of some.
Clearly I need to take back control, and I’m working on that. The kids are going to be strongly encouraged to choose 5 toys each to give to a child who needs them more than we do. It’s a character lesson and a sanity saver all in one. Right now, cleaning up comes with incentive. For every 15 minutes you spend cleaning up, you get 5 minutes of time on the Wii. Toys are not to leave a specific area. And once my younger son starts school, I’ll be weeding the toy collection myself. Throwing away the coloring books that are full of scribbles. Sorting through the massive bins that hold the toy collection and donating what they don’t play with. Tossing the random games we’ve never played or that have pieces missing. Giving away the books that we never read or that I dislike.
My biggest fear is that they will become hoarders, like the people on those shows that are so popular right now. Because their mindset is that every toy is precious, every gift is sacred. And though I do like to instill that into them, that the things we have are special, that gifts are to be appreciated, it’s reached a point that I can no longer support and encourage. Are they too young to watch an episode of Hoarding: Buried Alive? Because that’s what I’ve been doing all day and it has scared the crap out of me! Can you tell I’m motivated?
Kelly
August 9, 2010 at 12:19 am
We use birthdays and holidays to weed out the toys. We talk up how our kids can make other kids have a better holiday/birthday by sharing their toys. It makes them feel powerful (in that they can affect someone’s happiness) and compassionate (because they often forget to be grateful for what they have), so we don’t have any whining about it. Also, the kids go with us when we donate the toys so they can be the ones who receive the receipt or gratitude for being so generous. That process might work well with your kids — especially J.
Melissa
August 9, 2010 at 1:29 am
I can relate to everything you are saying. We have a serious excessive toy problem. I am finding them on the floor, in my bed, etc. It’s just too much! In the past few days, I have gone through the toys (while the kids were asleep) and just started pulling them out, putting them in a garbage bag for donation. I tried to have a garage sale, but the kids were running outside, trying to grab back their toys! lol And I definitely don’t want to end up like Hoarders (something I find myself watching too). I grew up in a house that was not quite Hoarder level but close enough and I would never, ever want that for my kids.