Do you ever feel like you’re surrounded by people in your life but somehow you’re lonely? I’ve been so caught up in school and family stuff that I feel like I haven’t seen my friends in forever. They’ve had girl’s night out that I couldn’t get to because of class, playdates that I was too tired to attend, and other things that I’m not involved in because I don’t have the time. I feel completely out of the loop on everything and it’s not a good feeling. It’s an unfortunate side effect of all of this school stuff and a huge conflict in my life…I am so happy to be in school, to be learning and challenging myself, but I feel like I finally have this awesome life and a bunch of great friends and I can’t participate! Frustration!
Lest you blame them for not including me, I want to point out that I am always invited to things but I just can’t make it to them. I chose this schedule, knowing that it would be exhausting and time-consuming, but the reality of it has been so much more than I expected. It hit me particularly hard yesterday and I just kept thinking about how truly lonely I have been this summer. I didn’t say anything…after all, I’m the one who chose this and I have no right to whine when I’m the one who put myself in this position. There have been text messages and facebook posts and emails that have kept us close. It’s not like I haven’t seen them at all, just not as much as I’d like. I really cherish my girlfriend time!
But yesterday afternoon, I got this phone call. (Which I missed because we’d gone out to run errands and I left my phone at home!) When I got home and listened to the message, it felt like this big hug…it was one of my closest friends letting me know that she missed me and hoping I could make it to playdate this week. The lonely feeling just melted away as I realized that they miss me just as much as I’m missing them. Never underestimate the power of a simple phone call!
I can’t wait until this class is over (2 more weeks!) and I have a few weeks to really rest and do things I enjoy without worrying about tests or labs or clinicals. It will be short-lived, as the fall semester starts August 23 and I’ll probably be working by then as well, but I feel like I need to have a big party to spend some time with them and celebrate the end of the madness. Hopefully it will be the end of this island living!
