Something happened today. Something I have been dreading for months now. I wasn’t sure exactly how it all would work once the day finally came, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined. I cried a little, mostly out of embarrassment, but I was treated with kindness. And now that it has finally happened and the constant dread is gone, I am strangely at peace. I survived. I will continue to survive. The people who love me don’t love me any less and the people that don’t love me never cared anyway.
If it happens again, I’ll be prepared. And strong. And I know that it will be OK. It’s a lesson that I’ve been taught over and over again…when the bad thing you’ve been dreading happens, it simply brings with it a sense of relief most of the time. A reminder of what really matters in life, a peace that can only come when you decide to take control, move on, and trust that better things are coming.
It happened. And hopefully the worst part is over now that the dread is gone. I’m not ready to talk about it yet (and I may not ever be ready to talk about it publicly) so you won’t be getting details. It is probably not the terrible things you are probably imagining right now. And honestly, the details don’t matter. What does matter is that I’m at peace, no longer living in fear of this Terrible Thing that’s really not so terrible. It is what it is and now I know what it is. As they say, knowing is half the battle!
Karen O
June 1, 2010 at 2:41 pm
*hugs*
Glad it was not as bad as you feared. Luckily, our anxieties are often so much worse than our realities
Kelly
June 1, 2010 at 3:52 pm
You’re a strong woman who can handle anything. This just proves it.