RSS
 

Archive for March, 2010

Creative Discipline

31 Mar

With 2 kids under the age of 4, I really rely on my oldest son to be mature and help me out more than I probably should.  He is 7 years old and amazingly intelligent but sometimes he really lacks common sense (is this something kids develop eventually?) and he doesn’t remember anything I tell him for more than 30 seconds.  For example, he has a habit on pulling on the back of my husband’s shirt.  Incredibly irritating and potentially dangerous if he were to knock him off balance, right?  Well, he’s been told over and over again not to do it but still grabs onto that shirt on an almost daily basis.

Another thing I’m trying to curb lately is talking to us in a manner that was cute when he was younger (because he was so mature and articulate) but now borders on disrespectful.  I thought I could simply get down on his level and correct him verbally in a gentle manner, but that wasn’t getting through.  So I got frustrated and then started being mean about it, thinking that would sink in.  No dice.  Finally I resorted to physical punishment, spanking him each time he had a smart mouth.  I don’t like spanking and I was never really comfortable with this, plus it didn’t bring about any improvement in his behavior.

So a couple of days ago, in a fit of fury when he pulled on my husband’s shirt yet again, I told him to write “I will not pull on daddy’s shirt” ten times.  When he was rude and disrespectful, I added 10 more sentences saying “I will not be rude and disrespectful.”  While we haven’t seen a huge change in behavior yet, his atrocious handwriting has already improved and he absolutely hates the punishment.  It doesn’t force me to punish him in a way that makes me uncomfortable (like being mean and spanking did) plus there’s the added benefit of his improved handwriting.  I think this one’s a winner.

 
1 Comment

Posted in Family, Parenting

 

It’s the little things in life.

24 Mar

Specifically, little white oval shaped things that you swallow with a chaser of water. (This one’s going to have Bible verses and lots of God talk, so if that turns you off, feel free to skip it!)

The back pain had sent me to levels of desperation.  Nothing seemed to help…ice, heat, anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers, bedrest, activity…none of them have brought me to a point where I can live normally.  And I was praying.  A LOT. I was starting to wonder what God’s plan was in all of this, what He was trying to teach me by not allowing me to get better.  Then on Sunday, the message at church was exactly what I needed to hear.  Keep praying. (If you’re interested in the scripture, it was Luke 18:1-5 and Luke 11:5-10.)  Somehow God always makes sure I hear the messages I need to hear.  So I kept praying.

Then on Sunday night, I remembered a saying about God…that He helps those who help themselves.  So maybe what I needed was to find someone to take a look at my back and come up with a treatment plan.  Monday morning, I dragged myself out of bed.  Barely able to walk, I went over to Helping Hands to see if they could help.  They gave me some places to call, but said they wouldn’t have anyone there who could treat me without charge until April 1.  OK, I can afford an office visit.  But if anyone wanted to do x-rays or tests, that was going to be something I would have to decline.  I know how the system works…if you refuse tests, many times you can’t get treatment.  So then I’d be out the office visit fee and still in the same place I started.  Several people told me to go to the ER.  I know they are required to treat you, but that still comes with a very large bill later on.  I wasn’t willing to do that.  I still owe the chiropractor money that I can’t pay yet and though he helped, I simply can’t afford the ongoing treatment required to keep things in the places they are supposed to be.  Plus this pain is different than when I threw it out earlier this year…it’s more of a muscle/nerve pain rather than a pain from being misaligned.

I called my mom and asked her advice.  As it turned out, I was due for my annual visit to the ob/gyn the next day (which is covered by Medicaid as family planning services) and my mom urged me to talk to her about it.  Long story short, she was more than happy to help, wrote a prescription for a steroid to clear up the inflammation, and I was out only the cost of the prescriptions.  God bless her.

I need to remember not to work myself up over things if it seems like it’s not happening fast enough.  I need to remember that worrying about things is like telling God that I don’t trust him to take care of me.  (And yes, I borrowed that from somewhere but I don’t know where or who or what the exact quote is.  If you do, please leave a comment so I can give credit where it’s due.)  God was there when I reached the point where I just couldn’t deal any more.  Monday I spent most of the day crying.  I had a tension headache by the end of the day that rivaled my back for intensity of pain.  But the very next day, I was able to see someone who could help.  The appointment had been scheduled at least 6 weeks in advance and I truly believe that was God’s doing.  Just when I thought I couldn’t deal any more, He made sure I was taken care of and could see an end in sight.  It was all in His plan, in His time.

The steroids haven’t kicked in yet, but my positive attitude is back and  I’ve been taught the “trust in God” lesson once again.  Hopefully I won’t forget it this time.

 
No Comments

Posted in Faith/Religion, Health

 

Messed Up Momming

19 Mar

Counting up the ways I screwed up today has been alternately embarrassing and hilarious.  But let’s face it…we’ve all had our bad mom moments and sometimes it helps to see that other people do it too.

This morning I laid on the couch and let the kids watch TV while the weather was beautiful outside.

My 3 year old peed on the floor in another room and apparently the baby found it before I did.

When I finally did motivate myself to get up, I took the kids to the park but completely neglected to put sunblock on any of them.

After playing as long as I considered safe without any sunblock, I decided to do some shopping with all 3 of them.  This is when it really broke down.

I took them all to Dollar Tree where the boys fought (loudly) over what gifts to get for a friend’s birthday party.

Then I went into Lowe’s to get some eggplant for dinner (it’s grilling season!!!) and some other items.  It went from bad to worse.

When my younger son hit my older one, I spanked him. (Yes, I do see the irony here.  Trust me, I know better.)

He then screamed his head off while I tried to finish shopping.

The cashier didn’t know how to ring up my WIC coupons, meanwhile my kids are howling/running around/acting like heathens.  And then the other cashier proceeded to tell everyone that I was using WIC so I felt like the stereotypical welfare mom who has more kids than she can handle because it means more guv’mint money.  (I don’t need to explain that things couldn’t be further from the truth, right?)

When I got home Violet threw a major toddler tantrum (how is it possible she is old enough for this?) and I completely ignored her while she hit her head on the floor in frustration.

After dinner, I laid down on the couch with Violet and we both fell asleep, leaving the boys to their own devices for a good hour.

It is now after 8pm and none of my heathens are in bed but I’m enjoying an adult beverage anyway.  I’m pretty sure I deserve it after the day I’ve had.

 
2 Comments

Posted in Family, Me Stuff, Parenting

 

Schedules are for sissies!

18 Mar

You know those days that don’t look like they’re going to be good when you get up in the morning?  Say, it’s the first day of your child’s 3 week intersession and those days are stretching out before you and you realize you’ve planned exactly nothing to get through them?  Yeah, that was me yesterday.  Once I’d dragged myself out of bed (not an easy feat these days as my back in still really stiff in the mornings) I noticed that the weather was beautiful.  After a little resting on the couch with all 3 of my kids wanting to snuggle, I got on the elliptical for a few minutes (which does wonders to get my back loosened up!) then hopped in the shower.  I’d put a message on my facebook status letting people know we’d be at the park and I figured if anyone showed up I didn’t want to be smelly!  I clipped my wet hair into a messy twist, got the kids dressed, and headed over to Little Kiwanis where I met up with a couple of other local bloggers.  The kids played and had a grand time for several hours and I was able to relax and join in on adult conversation which is a rare treat!

After we got home, we had a very late lunch and watched some TV.  My husband was home from teaching his classes by this point and I was simply enjoying having my favorite people all at home.  Then I got a text from a good friend asking me what I was doing…since we weren’t doing anything important she invited us to come over and play in their backyard for a little while.  So I packed the kids up again, this time including my husband, and went over to her house.  We sat in her back yard and talked for a while until her husband came home.  We were discussing dinner and realized that neither one of us had made any plans so we decided to drive through and get something, then come back and eat dinner together.

The kids all ate together quietly, the adults were able to enjoy each other’s company, and when it was time to go I had 3 dirty, sleepy children.  We’d been outside almost all day and I could tell that we were in for an early night.  We got home, tossed the boys into the bath then put them in our room to watch a movie around 7:30.  It was almost like date night!

It certainly didn’t look like it was going to be a fun day when I got up.  I was worried about entertaining all 3 kids for the day and had no plans for anything specific.  But I went with the flow, allowed myself to do things on the spur of the moment and it was probably one of the best days I’ve had with the kids ever.  There was very little whining, no complaining, no “Mommy, I’m BORED!” statements.  It was one of those dream days that we all hope to have now and then, and it wasn’t scheduled.  Sometimes I forget that spontaneity is a great character trait for a mom to have.  Yesterday reminded me of that and I’m thankful for the great day we had without the burden of a schedule.

 
1 Comment

Posted in Family, Me Stuff, Parenting

 

Progress on the Potty Front

10 Mar

I can safely say that I have only 1 child in diapers.  Oh, we still put one on him at night but it’s staying dry…and he won’t even let me put a PullUp on him when we go out.  It must be underwear!  He has done a great job of letting me know when he needed to go.  I was at Walmart yesterday with all 3 kids and a friend when he suddenly announced “I need to pee!”  Let me tell you, it was a mad dash to the bathroom.  I was hurting and wearing flip flops so I couldn’t go very fast but I ran through that place as fast as I possibly could and he held it until we got there.  I was so proud of him!

I’ve also tackled the issue of convincing him to pee inside.  He only wants to go outside once a day or so and I’m fine with that for now.  My next big hurdle is getting him to poop in the potty.  He hasn’t done it yet and his daddy promised him a trip to Chuck E. Cheese if he did.  (I was not consulted on this offer, by the way.  I hate that place with a fiery passion.)  We have been awaiting some, uh, movement in that direction for 2 days now but he seems to be holding it.  He doesn’t want to in the potty but doesn’t want to in his underwear, either.  I offered him a diaper and told him it would be OK, but no dice.  We went through this with my oldest, so I’m not concerned yet but eventually this will become a problem that we need to deal with.  For now, I am content with his great track record for peeing in the potty.

And for those who don’t “get it” let me just say that I would have laughed if you told me 10 years ago that having 1 less child in diapers would be a huge triumph.  I never imagined I would become the person who bragged about their child’s bathroom habits!

 
1 Comment

Posted in Family, Parenting

 
« Older Entries