The Mother I Wish I Was
Let’s all pretend I haven’t completely disappeared for several weeks, shall we?
Today I’ve been thinking about all of my (perceived) shortcomings. Yuck. Let’s just say that of all the things I am lazy about, the one aspect of my life I regret most is my parenting. That’s not to say I think I am a bad parent…but just that I wish I was doing more. For example, I would love to home school my children. I think it can be a superior option for those prepared to put the time and effort into it. Especially considering some of the stuff we’ve dealt with this year at public school!
Unfortunately, I’m just not cut out for it. I’m not organized enough, not patient enough, not motivated enough, not social enough…the list goes on and on. I guess it’s a good thing I recognize this, rather than doing it and not giving my children what they need to be successful in life. I have several friends who do home school and I am constantly in awe of them. They are truly dedicated to it and have children who are well adjusted and intelligent.
I am trying to homeschool my younger son right now, though. We can’t afford preschool, I’m not impressed with the public option and I’m worried that he won’t be prepared for kindergarten if I let Noggin (NickJr?) educate him. But just getting him to sit down for 30 minutes every day and concentrate on it is nearly impossible.
I have managed to teach him shapes and colors. My plan is to work on numbers and letters next. But I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard for me…that I’m somehow not a good mother because I think this is hard and don’t quite know how to go about it.
There’s nothing like a good dose of “You suck at this!” when it comes to your kids. But really, do the bad parents ever doubt their abilities? Probably not. And maybe for that reason alone I’m doing an OK job.
Subscribe to the 
Leave a 
I think he’ll probably be okay. Today’s kindergarten classrooms are adept at taking the unschooled child and turning them into reading and writing machines. (That sounds worse than it is.) Also, he’s on the young side. I’ve found that 4-5 is the age when my boy blossomed academically. Every child is different, but he was too immature to be a “pupil” until that age. Also, his birthday is in Dec so he started school a year later than most in his age group, which helped tremendously.
All this to say — you’re doing fine. The only way to muck up a kid is to not love him. You love him and you do the best you can, and that’s enough.
1 Kelly said this (January 28, 2010 at 4:46 pm)
Um, you are doing MORE than an OK job Melissa. You love your kids and are way more dedicated to them than most parents. Public, home or otherwise, your kids have you and Donnie and that’s what they need most…….parents who love and cherish them! Hopefully these words will provide a little encouragement for what is hopefully a passing thought and not how you will choose to view yourself for too long. Many days I feel like I’m barely hanging on and though I’m home still feel like I don’t give my kids enough of me. But the truth is we’re all doing the best we can and just look at the product? Healthy, well adjusted, beautiful kids who love their parents. The end
.
2 Sarah Ivy said this (January 29, 2010 at 9:30 am)
My daughter will be four in April and has known her letters and numbers for at least two years. Try putting the focus on repetition and NOT on \”teaching\” him. It\’s a lot easier to pull out an alphabet book with letters (and pictures that go with each letter) and read or look at it often. I knew that my daughter recognized her letter the day that we were in the check out at Walmart and she spelled out the word restrooms! I have struggled with teaching her to write her name for over a year and she wrote it a few weeks ago completely on her own without me prompting her to do it. It is ALL about repetition.
If you start by setting time aside each day (breakfast or snack works well because they are already sitting down) to talk about the weather, day, month and maybe a particular letter and words that start with that letter you will probably see results very quickly.
3 J said this (January 29, 2010 at 3:06 pm)