As moms, we’re not supposed to have a favorite child. And I think it’s safe to say that most good moms don’t. But a little old lady came up to me the other day and said something that made me reconsider my stance on favorites…she said that her family was like mine, 2 boys and then a girl. She said that her daughter was her favorite, because she has a bond with her that she could never have with the boys. I can certainly understand the bond part, but I think I lost her message in the “favorite” part. Until I started thinking about this a little more…
My oldest son is my favorite because he was my first. He made me a mother for the first time, something the other children will never be able to do. He was my only child for almost 4 years, and for a long time we thought he would be an only child forever. He’s handsome and articulate and smart and dramatic and there is nobody else like him in the world. He has a beautiful personality and delights everyone he meets. I could not ask for more!
But my second son is my favorite because he was long awaited and such a sweet little soul when he finally arrived. He brought joy back into my life after I thought all hope was lost. He gave me my much needed second chance at getting things right…having control over my birth, attempting (and succeeding at) breastfeeding again, and giving me the opportunity to enjoy being a mom rather than being terrified that everything I was doing was wrong.
And my daughter is my favorite because she was such a profound blessing. I never expected to have another one and I really never thought I’d have a little girl. I wanted to, but I wasn’t prepared to go through all of the injections and procedures again. She has been an absolute delight and I never stop feeling incredibly grateful for her presence in my life. She’s the one who made me feel complete for the first time in my life and she’s added the final piece to the puzzle of our family.
I had to admit to myself that I have favorites, too. Perhaps not in the sense that one of my children is favored above all the others, but favorites nonetheless. They are each different and I can’t wait to see what kind of people they grow up to be. How lucky am I to be the mama to these 3 fabulous children?
