Wife. Mother. Student. Teacher. Employee. Volunteer. Friend. Daughter. Sister. Runner. Blogger. There are a million more I could add. Lately I don’t seem to be doing any of them well, if at all! I am so overwhelmed by all of my responsibilities that my wants (like running and blogging) are not getting the time they deserve. I’m also exhausted by the terrible insomnia that I’ve been dealing with over the last few weeks. I feel like a zombie and I know I’m not handling any of my responsibilities (especially being a good friend!) well. I feel slow and stupid most days, like my brain is on vacation. It’s frustrating for me.
The good news is that there are only 2 weeks of summer vacation left for my oldest, so we’ll be home more. I’ve put a lot of effort into packing his short break full of fun things to do and that has taken up a lot of my time. Not that I don’t do fun things with the little kids, but I don’t feel the need to do so much in such a short period of time with them. Our days are a bit more laid back when their older brother is in school. Plus I’ll be homeschooling my middle child this year (there’s always a lot of learning going on, but this will be a bit more formal since we can’t afford preschool for him like we did with my oldest) and that will be good for at least a few hours a week where we can hang around the house and just relax and have fun while we learn colors, shapes, letters, numbers, etc.
Tonight, I am neglecting my running in order to blog. I’ll hop onto the elliptical and give myself a good workout, but it’s not quite the same. There is something about hitting that track or greenway and just running…for 30 minutes, I have no other responsibilities. The only thing I have to do is move my legs and arms and listen to some tunes.
I haven’t worked for over a week. I just can’t force myself to do it. I need to go schedule a few shifts so that I can get back into a routine with it, but it seems to be the thing that’s really gotten neglected lately. Something we can’t afford, especially considering tuition just went up by 20% (*gasp*) and I only had a month’s notice to come up with the money for it. I guess a netbook isn’t in my future anytime soon…which is a shame, because I could really use it with the school and work stuff!
The one thing that I feel like I’m really excelling at (which is funny, because I’m honestly not putting as much effort into it as I could!) is my psychology class. Right now, I could blow off several of the upcoming assignments and still get an A. I won’t, but it’s nice to know that I can if I need to. I am more determined than ever to finish school and become a nurse. Doing so well in this class has really given me the confidence that I needed to convince myself that I can do this, even while I’m saddled with so many labels that contain so many responsibilities!
