I am the Mama

Less than a year ago, I decided that the years I had spent being pissed off at God had not done me any good and I decided it was time to get over it.  We started going to church again and found an awesome place where we feel comfortable and look forward to going every week.  Since then, we’ve seen God’s hand in our lives more times than I can count.  Just when I think we’re at a place where things are really desperate, we receive a blessing that keeps us going.

Our tax refunds are just enough to cover our past due mortgage payments.  We finally got our state refund and will be able to halt the foreclosure process with that money.  I am not entirely sure where we’ll get the money to pay it in the future, but I’m trusting Him to show us the way.  We’ve got hardship paperwork into the bank as well as our PMI holder and they’re both trying to help us refinance so that we can afford it going forward.  Hopefully one or the other will be able to help.  If not, well…we’ll find a place to live (hey, our van is paid for!) and it will be OK because we’re together.  Nobody is sick, nobody has died.  Our housee is just a house and as much as I love it, I know that it’s not the most important thing we have.

When the paper offered their free “employment wanted” section, my husband placed an ad for handyman jobs.  He’s gotten so many calls from that!  He’s mowing yards, installing ceiling fans, making minor home repairs, and so much more.  He’s only asking for $10/hr, but people routinely pay him much more than that and have even sent him home with boxes of food.  We’ve never been in danger of going hungry, but extra food is a huge blessing…that’s less money I have to spend on eating that month, and more that can go to other things that we’re behind on like our electric bill!

A couple of weeks ago, I had some serious pain one night.  It didn’t feel quite like a kidney stone normally does, but I figured that was probably what it was.  As the pain got worse, I got a little panicky.  I didn’t have a lot of pain medication and I don’t have health insurance.  And if I went to the ER or the free health clinic in town, I was afraid they’d assume I was drug seeking and refuse to give me any meds.  So I evaluated the number of pills I had left and swore I wouldn’t take them unless I was in unbearable pain.  After a day or so, the pain went away and I assumed it was all over with.  Last week, I started having pain that made me think I had a UTI.  Again, I was debating how to pay for a doctor’s visit when it seemed to get a little better.  And then I passed (with almost no pain and zero intervention) a gigantic kidney stone.  It was 8mm and about the size of a pea.  For those of you not well versed in the kidney stone experience, this is nothing short of amazing.  Literally a miracle.  I’ve had kidney stones half that size that I wasn’t able to pass without lithotripsy or a cystoscopy.  I’ve been praying for God to make me stop having kidney stones, but He had a different plan.  At least I’m passing them without expensive surgeries or even bad pain!

I had applied for a work-at-home job right around the time Violet was born.  At the time, they had put hiring on hold and I was told they’d contact me when training opened up again.  I figured I’d never hear another word and sort of put it out of my mind.  Then in early March, I got an invitation to start training.  Within a couple of weeks, I was working and making a little extra money.  I talked it over with my husband, and we decided to tithe on this income.  I know it’s not a full 10% of what we’re bringing in, but we’re taking baby steps here.  Before I even wrote my first tithe check, I received a promotion that will allow me to make more money!  I totally believe in the power of tithing now.

Then today, I wrote my first tithe check on my income.  Within an *hour* I had received back more than 10x the amount I gave to the church in a very unexpected way.  Less than an HOUR.  This blows me away.  I resisted the idea of tithing as recently as 3 months ago.  But the more I thought about it and prayed about it, the more I realized that this was something I needed to do, to work towards.  I’m a believer now.

This honestly doesn’t even scratch the surface of the “God Things” that have happened.  We’ve received money, been blessed with food several times, been given clothes for the kids, and been supported, prayed for, and held up emotionally by so many people.  I don’t believe that I’m being blessed simply because I’ve changed how I feel about God, but I’m a lot more willing to believe that the good stuff we’ve experienced is *because* of God.  That he’s holding us up and helping us through this scary situation.  I know some of you are rolling your eyes…I admit that I would have done the same a year ago.  Every time my mom told me that something was a “God Thing” I rolled my eyes and blew her off.  Now I just nod my head and say a little prayer of thanks, because I don’t think you can call all of this a coincidence.  One or two, yes.  But taken all together, there’s just way too much to see as anything other than “God Things.”

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