I am the Mama

This pregnancy has been so unlike my others.  So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that I *look* different, too.  I am one of those weird women who revels in the roundness of my body while pregnant.  Since I’m pretty round anyway, I feel like it’s the only time I look the way I should.  I once had a “friend” tell me I am the only person she knows who looks skinnier when she’s pregnant.  I’m sure there was a veiled dig in there somewhere, but it’s really true.  My PCOS kind of goes into remission and I don’t gain much weight.  The weight I do gain is all in my belly and my body shape really shifts significantly to move a lot of my excess there as well.  My skin clears up.  My hair gets thick and grows a lot faster.  If I’m honest, I’d say that typically my self-esteem improves a lot while pregnant.  (Don’t hate me!)

But not this time.  While my weight gain has stayed low, I think I still have that questionable “Is she pregnant?  Or just fat?” kind of look.  My skin is really gross and nothing seems to help clear it up or cover it up.  My hair fell out in huge clumps for the first several months so it thinned quite a bit and it’s not growing like it normally does.  It has really been a rough time for me in the self-esteem department this time around and I don’t like it one bit.

Normally by this point in my pregnancy, I’m getting shocked looks and “I don’t think you’ll make it that far!” comments when asked when I’m due.  I made a comment to someone the other day about having a baby in January and she looked surprised and told me she couldn’t even tell I was pregnant.  Not really the reaction I want to hear when I’m feeling a bit like a beached whale when I lay in bed and try to watch the TV over my belly.

This is all a new experience for me and I don’t like it.  At all.

Editing to add that the current ads are cracking me up…I’m sure they’re telling me how to get a flat stomach because of this post, but ironically, this is the only time I don’t want one!

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