I have been fairly certain for a while (even before we knew this was a girl!) that this is my last pregnancy.  We were making plans to ensure that there would be no future surprises.  Pregnancy is hard on me…I am very sick for the first 4-5 months (not just the first 3 like most) and continue to experience a lot of queasiness right up until delivery.  Just to give you an idea, I am 3 months from my anticipated c-section date as of today and *just now* reached my pre-pregnancy weight again.  I think I was down over 15 pounds at one point!  There’s the worry over kidney stones and what a bad blockage could do to me AND the baby.  Most of the typical detection & treatment methods are out of the question when I’m pregnant so I just have to cope.  I get extremely uncomfortable very early.  My whole body aches, I’m exhausted to the point of wanting a nap almost every day but have miserable insomnia at night, and then when I do sleep I don’t sleep well because I can’t get comfortable.  It’s basically 9 months that drag by in a blur of nausea and exhaustion.

Then there’s the fact that I’ll be on my 3rd c-section this time around and the worries that my uterus can’t take much more.  Though it wasn’t a problem last time, they did say they prefer not to do more than 3 c-section births for anyone due to the wear and tear on the uterus.  I’ve been told that VBAC isn’t an option this time (which is fine with me, as much as I wanted one last time) so I have no choice in the method of delivery anymore.  And let’s face it, it’s a tough recovery.  I envy those women who can jump right up and be super moms after birth!  I’m not one of them.  Something about having your belly and innards cut open and sewed back together is quite draining…who knew?

And then there’s the fact that I already have 2 *very* spirited little boys who require a lot of attention.  A house I can’t keep clean.  Bills to pay and college funds to worry about.  And the list goes on and on.  I feel like 3 is my physical, emotional, and financial limit.  And I have been very firm in that until today, when I was sitting in church and for some reason found myself thinking about *just one more* and how we could manage it.

Clearly the hormones have gone to my head!  Let’s not mention this little development to my husband, because he’d be all for the idea of “just one more.”  Yikes…

Filed under: Family, Health, Parenting, Pregnancy