October, 2008

Friday, October 31st, 2008

And THAT is why I do this.

We were in the car, going to pick up my oldest son from school.  I hear the sweet voice of my toddler saying “Mommy?” from the back seat.

Me: “Yes, baby?”

Him: “Ah wub woo.”  (For those not familiar with toddler speak, that’s I love you!)

Me: I love you, too.

Him: Appa buhday! (Happy Birthday!)

It’s about 10 days late, but it’s still pretty sweet.  It makes all the yuckiness (including that *very* nasty diaper I just changed and the fight that I’m going to have to break up momentarily) worth it.  It reminds me that I must be doing something right, even if it feels like I’m not!

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

More on my plate than I can handle!

Yes, my absences are more and more frequent these days.  October has always been a crazy month at my house.  We have 3 birthdays, the fall weather often lures us to outside activities, and it seems to be the last month before the holidays really kick into high gear so we always over-schedule ourselves in an effort to avoid the November and December craziness.  Add to that a pregnancy that has been “unpredictable,”  a bad cold, my husband being out of the house a lot more than he was over the last several months, and you get a mama who has spread herself WAY too thin.

The computer has been just about the last thing on my mind most days.  I’ve been falling asleep the minute I sit down so I’ve tried to avoid sitting in the hopes I’d actually manage to stay awake for the important stuff that *must* be done.  It took me 3 tries to get through the RedBox movie we rented the other night…not because it was bad, but because I couldn’t keep my eyes open!  FWIW, we loved the concept and rented another one today with a promo code.  With any luck I’ll manage to get through it tonight so we don’t have to pay for it.

So as my absences have become longer and more frequent, I’m hoping that is coming to an end soon.  November is almost here and it does seem like this little girl is going to stay put at least for a couple more months, even if she (or rather, my uterus) continues to act like she won’t.  I still haven’t fallen in love with the laptop, but am determined to give it another chance for this very reason…I figure if I can get used to using it in bed or in the living room, I’m more likely to spend some time on the computer every night.  If I can just stay awake long enough to have a coherent thought, that is!

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Anyone tried Redbox yet?

If you’re in Sanford, you’ve probably seen one of these DVD rental machines…there’s one in Lowe’s Foods, one at super Walmart and a couple in gas stations.  We decided to try it out tonight, and other than being sold out of the movies we had at the top of our list to see, it was really easy!  I reserved it online, my husband left immediately for the grocery store (5 minutes away) and it was all ready to go.  You can get a promo code if you sign up on their website (www.redbox.com) for a free rental.  They’re only $1/night so if you’re like us and rarely rent movies it seems like a really good deal.  I dropped Netflix a few months ago because we just weren’t using it anymore and I thought this would be a good substitute!  Since there are no movie rental places on our end of town (that I know of, anyway) this is very convenient and super easy.

Has anyone tried it already?  What did you think???

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

As my toddler would say…”I did it!”

I am just about the world’s worst mom.  Because I avoid leaving the house with my 2 year old unless I have the backup of another adult.  I’m not kidding.  Inevitably when I take him out by myself, one or both of us ends up crying or having a total meltdown before my errands are done.  Now that my husband is home most of the time, I’m lucky enough that I usually have the luxury of either leaving the little boy at home or bringing the grown-up boy with me to help!

But this morning did not start out well.  My husband had a meeting downtown (fingers crossed that this brings in some work for him!) and as it turned out, Colin woke up right as he was leaving.  This is never a pretty scene…whenever Daddy leaves it means a total and complete screaming fit with lots of “I want a tiss!” even if Daddy kissed him before he left, or “I want Daddy!” or “I want to go!”  This time it was of the “I want to go!” variety so I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere with me.  He nodded a pitiful “yes” so I got us both dressed and we headed out.

I decided to go to Fabulous finds and see if they still had the total body pillow Emily mentioned in a comment, but they didn’t.  They did, however, have a ton of toys and I bought something small to avoid the meltdown that I knew would come when I tried to walk out of there empty-handed.  (Please don’t judge me…I am normally not such a pushover.  But I really am at my limit physically with this pregnancy and the last thing I wanted to do was have to carry a screaming toddler back out to the car.)  This small concession worked and we got out of there without any crying!  I then headed home, only to turn around about a quarter mile from the house because I decided I needed a Bojangle’s chicken biscuit.  Except for some whining from the backseat when I got my biscuit, it was a very successful outing overall.

So, “I did it!”  All by myself and with no tears or meltdowns.  I’m not going to make this a habit, though…

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008

You know what makes me mad?

This was tonight’s dinner topic.  It started with my oldest complaining about the meal (as usual…even though dinner was prepared the way *he* asked for it) and saying it made him mad.  To which my husband replied that he was mad that there wasn’t world peace.  And I let everyone know that I was mad about the health care situation in our country.  And then the adults burst out laughing while the kids looked at us like we were crazy…

I had birthday cake for breakfast.  And for dessert after lunch.  And I totally don’t care!  Because a) it was *my* birthday cake and b) I’m pregnant.  Double excuse this year. :)

I was relieved to find out that my criminal background check was clean today.  Not that I thought it wouldn’t be, but when we lived in NC the first time there was a woman in Raleigh with the same name as me who apparently *had* been in some trouble.  So yay for finding out that they seem to have finally gotten us sorted out!  I also got a fingerprint card done and was very pleasantly surprised at how quick and easy this all was…you never know with these government offices!

Every time I hear Gwen Stefani’s son’s name I think of this game.  Really, Zuma?  Why not just name the kid Bejeweled or Chuzzle?

I am dealing with a lot of anxiety regarding the arrival of this baby.  As I’ve mentioned, I’m scheduling a c-section sometime around January 19 if I have my way.  But with the contractions I’ve been having, I’m worried that I’ll end up in labor before that with none of my scheduled help in place!  My mom’s flying in a few days before the scheduled birthday to help me with last minute stuff and then stay with the kids while I’m in the hospital and help for a while after I get home…but what happens if I don’t make it that far?  It terrifies me.  And yet, it’s irrational because I’ve never been in labor, much less early labor!  And what if this is a bad winter and we lose power for days because of an ice storm and it’s cold and we have a tiny baby?  Seriously, these are the things that keep me up at night!

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Celebration Abounds

After all, what’s not to celebrate about my entrance to this world 33 years ago???  My mom felt it necessary to call and tell me how nightmarish that day was for her…apparently induced labor is unpleasant.  My husband treated me like a princess, which is pretty much how it is every day, but tonight he made me a wonderful dinner and dessert.

The day started off with a trip to Apex where I dropped off clothes to consign.  We checked out Linens N Things to see if their going out of business sale could offer some good deals but it’s too early just yet.  I wouldn’t bother for a couple more weeks at least.  Their best deals were 30% off of draperies but they still had plenty of stock so I’m going to give it a week or two before I check back.  Almost everything else was still only 10% off AND they’re no longer taking coupons so I could get the same thing cheaper at Bed, Bath, & Beyond with a 20% off coupon.  Then we had lunch at TGI Fridays.  I was craving a drink *so* badly but obviously couldn’t get one.  I am not a big drinker but I do enjoy having one now and then, especially on my birthday.  This is the first time I’ve ever been pregnant on my birthday and known it (my first was born 10 days before my 27th birthday and I was about 3 days post-conception with my second on my 30th birthday) so I kind of missed having a fruity silly drink like I normally do!  Then we ran to Target for a few groceries and came home.  I enjoyed some time to myself while my smallest son napped and my husband went to pick up our oldest from school.

When he got home, they all had cards for me and they were so sweet that I cried…darn the hormones!  Then for dinner my husband made one of my absolute favorite dishes…Jack Daniel’s Filet.  There was a place we went to while we weere in college (Spankie’s in Cookeville, TN) that had the BEST JD Filet.  Over the years we’ve tried to duplicate the recipe and haven’t managed it but tonight was pretty darn yummy!  There’s also a butter pecan rum cake awaiting me in the kitchen.  So far I’ve avoided the temptation of it but I may break down soon!

Mostly I am proud of myself for not buying anything unnecessary in our shopping today…I really wanted a total body pillow designed for pregnant women but refrained.  I’m getting better at this “not getting everything I want” stuff but it’s tough!

Monday, October 20th, 2008

What a weekend!

It really started Friday morning when I woke up to the symptoms of hydronephrosis.  This is (basically) a backup of urine in the kidney.  It is painful and can be dangerous if untreated.  This is not the first time I’ve had it, and probably won’t be the last…so I got up determined to tough it out and see how things went during the day.  I wasn’t thinking about the fact that it was Friday and if it didn’t resolve by the next morning I’d have no option other than the ER!

By lunchtime I was in significant pain both from the hydronephrosis and what seemed to be a large kidney stone that was moving, so I took some pain meds.  (Yes, they’re safe during pregnancy!)  They made me sleepy so I laid down in the bed with a moist heating pad for the back/side pain (also safe for pregnancy) but couldn’t sleep because I was just hurting too badly.  I was able to relax a bit more with the edge taken off, though!  After a while, I started feeling a pain that was unmistakably the kidney stone dropping quickly.  I cannot explain how I knew this…but if you’ve ever felt it you know what I mean!  In between “slides” I actually felt quite a bit better so I decided to get up and move into my office and spend some time on the computer.  I felt it drop some more and then felt a “ping” in my bladder followed by the *very* urgent need to empty it.  Sure enough, the blockage was relieved and I had a nice, perfectly round 5.5 mm kidney stone to show for it.  The hydronephrosis was resolved by the evening and despite some more mild kidney stone type pain I was feeling pretty good.

Then Saturday morning I passed some more.  And have continued to pass bits and pieces (though none of them anywhere near as large!) every day since.  Maybe my kidneys are flushing themselves out really well?  I don’t know, but it’s nice to be passing them without needing a cystoscopy, a stent, or lithotripsy!

Then Saturday we went to ARTober Fest downtown and enjoyed lunch at La Dolce Vita which has the BEST pizza in town!  I spent some time talking to Amy and we also bought some chocolate treats from her.  (Those chocograhams are the BOMB!)  It was very chilly out though and I was completely unprepared.  Must remember that the weather now requires socks…

Then yesterday I overslept so we planned on going to the 2nd service at church.  Until I found out about the Barack Obama rally in Fayetteville!  We debated on it for a little while and decided to go to church anyway then head straight down there.  I doubted that there would be a lot of supporters and figured we could get there right at the time the rally was supposed to start and we’d still be OK.  Well, we made it to church and the service was a little long.  (But good!)  So we grabbed the kids from their respective rooms and hopped in the old minivan and headed down to the Crown Coliseum.  We had to drive through McD’s on the way so nobody would starve (um, namely the pregnant woman) and made it to the Coliseum area right at 1:30.  And saw cars parked EVERYWHERE and people *leaving* already.  What the heck?  So we pulled over and asked someone…it turned out he was already speaking and they’d started turning people away an HOUR before.  There were over 10k people inside and several thousand more outside we heard later.  We used to live in F’ville not far from the Crown Coliseum and I had never seen it packed like that.  Truly, truly amazing!

My 6 year old’s heart was broken.  He cried like he lost his best friend and I felt SO bad for getting him excited.  We don’t speak much about our political leanings in front of him and he actually told me he was going to vote for McCain a week or two ago (some of my conservative family members must have been talking to him or something!) so I’m honestly not sure why he was so upset.  I promised him that if Barack came back to North Carolina between now and November 4 we’d make every effort to see him, even if it was a school day.  He was somewhat calmed by that until he remembered the pizza party he’d miss out on at school if he missed a day.  *sigh*  I can’t win for losing.

I needed to get out and walk around, so we headed to Cross Creek Mall to walk a bit before heading back to good old Sanford.  I hadn’t been there since we moved away from the area way back in 2004 and it hasn’t gotten any better.  YUCK.  I am *so* glad we got out!

Needless to say, it was a looooooooooong and exhausting weekend.  And tomorrow is a big day for me, so I should get some rest tonight!  It doesn’t look promising as both kids are still very much awake and I still need to sort through the clothes I’m taking to the consignment shop tomorrow.  A mother’s work is never done.  (And yet, you see what I’m doing…am I putting kids to bed or resting or sorting clothes?  Um, no.)

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

Just when I think I’ve made up my mind…

I have been fairly certain for a while (even before we knew this was a girl!) that this is my last pregnancy.  We were making plans to ensure that there would be no future surprises.  Pregnancy is hard on me…I am very sick for the first 4-5 months (not just the first 3 like most) and continue to experience a lot of queasiness right up until delivery.  Just to give you an idea, I am 3 months from my anticipated c-section date as of today and *just now* reached my pre-pregnancy weight again.  I think I was down over 15 pounds at one point!  There’s the worry over kidney stones and what a bad blockage could do to me AND the baby.  Most of the typical detection & treatment methods are out of the question when I’m pregnant so I just have to cope.  I get extremely uncomfortable very early.  My whole body aches, I’m exhausted to the point of wanting a nap almost every day but have miserable insomnia at night, and then when I do sleep I don’t sleep well because I can’t get comfortable.  It’s basically 9 months that drag by in a blur of nausea and exhaustion.

Then there’s the fact that I’ll be on my 3rd c-section this time around and the worries that my uterus can’t take much more.  Though it wasn’t a problem last time, they did say they prefer not to do more than 3 c-section births for anyone due to the wear and tear on the uterus.  I’ve been told that VBAC isn’t an option this time (which is fine with me, as much as I wanted one last time) so I have no choice in the method of delivery anymore.  And let’s face it, it’s a tough recovery.  I envy those women who can jump right up and be super moms after birth!  I’m not one of them.  Something about having your belly and innards cut open and sewed back together is quite draining…who knew?

And then there’s the fact that I already have 2 *very* spirited little boys who require a lot of attention.  A house I can’t keep clean.  Bills to pay and college funds to worry about.  And the list goes on and on.  I feel like 3 is my physical, emotional, and financial limit.  And I have been very firm in that until today, when I was sitting in church and for some reason found myself thinking about *just one more* and how we could manage it.

Clearly the hormones have gone to my head!  Let’s not mention this little development to my husband, because he’d be all for the idea of “just one more.”  Yikes…

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

ARTober Fest

First of all, yes I’m alive!  Thanks for the emails checking on me.  It’s just been a very busy/hectic week.  Plus I have so little to say.  I’m about to enter the 3rd trimester and feel mostly OK.  I have some minor complaints but right now I’m just glad to be where I am…I have learned not to take healthy pregnancies for granted!  My husband and I are finding ways to provide some income and though it’s nothing like our previous income, we’re hopeful that things will turn around soon.  The kids are doing well and we’re enjoying these last few months as a family of 4.

Today we’re hoping to make it over to Depot Park for ARTober Fest.  The weather looks a little icky but I’m told the clouds should blow over soon.  That’s OK…less sun = less heat, right?  I just need to remember my water.  If anyone wants to check it out, it is being held from 9:00 – 6:00 today at Depot Park.  Lots of entertainment on the stage as well as local artists displaying their creativity.  Worth a look!

And now, I must wake up my smallest child (who is asleep in my bed by himself) and take a shower so I don’t scare anyone.  There’s still a couple of weeks before Halloween…

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Braxton Hicks contractions DO hurt.

Trust me, I’ve had them now for 3 days off and on.  Never close enough together to worry, but enough that I’m having to stop what I’m doing and breathe through them.  I remember having them even earlier with my last pregnancy, but I don’t remember them being quite as painful or as frequent.  I suspect I need to be more careful with my hydration, as well as resting more.  Luckily my oldest was back to school this week after 3 weeks off so I can rest more!

And somewhat related, I want everyone to know that October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  So often, people tend to forget that miscarriage/pregnancy loss is devastating, no matter how far along you are and no matter how many times it happens or how many healthy children you have.  Tonight at 7PM, I will light a candle to remember the angels in my life.  For more info, click here.

  • I am a mom to 3 living in Sanford, NC. I am a wife. I am a student. I am a Christ follower. I am a friend. This is the craziness of my life.
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