Seven years ago today I woke up to find the world changed. My mom called me at about 8:55, right after the 1st jet crashed into the WTC. I ignored the phone, but the damage was done…I was awake. I got up, stumbled to the kitchen and turned on the TV. What I saw there will be forever burned into my memory. Soon after, the 2nd jet crashed into the WTC, followed by one crashing into the Pentagon. At about 10:00, the first tower collapsed. By this point I was in a panic. I didn’t want to be home alone, but I couldn’t pull myself from the TV to go anywhere. I couldn’t reach my husband because he was in a training class somewhere. As far as I knew, he had no idea this was going on. We were still newlyweds and I just *needed* him there with me.
The rest of the day is really a blur. I spent most of the day crying and praying and begging for it to stop. The terror I felt was immense. It was a nightmare. I remember thinking that if my daddy were still alive (he’d passed away that spring) this wouldn’t be happening. Irrational thought.
I still cannot watch footage of that day. I do not know how I will ever explain to my children what happened without becoming an emotional wreck. At church last Sunday, they showed a video containing images of September 11 and I broke down sobbing. Seven years later it still affects me that deeply. When I see that airplane inexplicably turning to fly straight into the tower, then the burning, the people jumping, the collapse…I am taken back to that day and I am terrified all over again.
My oldest son was born exactly 13 months after that day. He was the first thing that really made sense in my post 9/11 world, yet I worried about how I could bring a child into such a scary place. I am grateful that there haven’t been any more major attacks during his lifetime. I dread the day he comes home and asks what 9/11 was. I hope it’s not today because I am not sure I could handle it.
Today I will remember the victims of September 11, 2001. Pray for them. Ask God to keep us all safe. And hope that my children never, ever experience the fear I felt that day.
