Have you ever heard of this? I’d heard of it, but never experienced it. For more info, you can click here. Starting with the back pain a couple of weeks ago (which I couldn’t trace to anything…usually it’s due to lifting something I shouldn’t but this time I couldn’t figure out what caused it) I’ve had slowly worsening symptoms of pelvic separation, also known as Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction or SPD. I didn’t want to believe that’s what it was. I’d never experienced anything like this in pregnancy before and surely I wouldn’t this time!
Apparently not so. It seems to be related to hormones…and with the wacky hormones I’ve had this entire pregnancy causing acne, hair loss, and more, it shouldn’t be a huge surprise. But it is. And it hurts. If you’ve seen me trailing around the grocery store or Wal-Mart behind my husband, you’ve likely seen just how much pain I’m in when I try to get up and walk around for more than a few minutes. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. The round ligament pains that I first started having before I even knew I was pregnant have gotten increasingly worse and I have to be very careful to move in a way that doesn’t exacerbate them. Luckily I am still (mostly) comfortable while sitting.
I am reminded once again of why 3 pregnancies/children is my limit. Physically, emotionally, and financially. Pregnancy (even with the boys) has never been an easy thing. I pretty much stay sick and/or queasy for the entire 9 months. It improves somewhat as time goes on, but never really goes away. Then there’s the sheer exhaustion and wear and tear on my body. I do better than a lot of people I know, but I definitely don’t breeze through it like others. Emotionally I don’t feel like I’m capable of giving more than 3 kids everything they need from me. I adore my kids, but let’s face it…they need a LOT. I only have so much to give! And financially, well…do I need to elaborate? Considering our current situation I just cannot ever see us choosing to add another child to our family. And if we ever do then I think I would prefer to adopt. It’s something we strongly considered when I was struggling to get pregnant with our 2nd and something I considered again before I found out I was pregnant this time. I’m not ruling it out, just in case we win the lottery or something! But truly, I feel done. And have said so pretty much from the moment we found out I was pregnant. Except for a few moments of wavering because I couldn’t imagine not doing this ever again, I’ve been pretty sure that this is it. Not because we’re having a girl this time (though I know that’s what people think) but because I’m just DONE. I’m blessed by the 3 healthy children I have. I don’t want to tempt fate or get too greedy. This is it, and I’m content with that decision.
