I don’t necessarily believe that, but in the past week I’ve heard of bad pregnancy outcomes from 2 people who were just a bit further along than me.  It goes without saying that I am devastated for them, but I’m also scared for me.  And though I know it’s unusual at this stage, it DOES happen.  At no point during pregnancy are you guaranteed a good outcome and a healthy baby at the end.  I always want to correct people when they say “Oh you’re out of the first trimester, it’s smooth sailing now.”  Because it’s not.  Bad things can happen anytime.  So I’m saying a lot of prayers for this baby to be safe and healthy inside me.  I’m getting nervous for my next ultrasound, which is the “big” one where we will find out how the baby is growing, if he (she?) is healthy and happy and appears to be “normal.”  Oh, and we’ll find out the sex…which is secondary to the health, of course!  So there is some excitement there, but there’s a lot of trepidation, too.

And because I have so many things knocking around in my brain, here’s a little brain dump…

Christina Applegate has breast cancer.  She’s only a few years older than me!  There is no history of BC in my family, but it’s terrifying to contemplate the idea.  It sounds like it was caught very early, so kudos to her docs and to her for being proactive.  It reminds me that I need to become more diligent about checking myself and maybe contemplate a baseline mammogram once this new baby is weaned.

I am in the baking mood.  I got a breadmaker from FreeCycle and have been printing out all kinds of recipes to try.  One I’m hoping works out well is an apple cinnamon oatmeal bread.  We spend a TON of money on Quaker oatmeal squares because my kids like them for breakfast.  I hope to replace them with something that will be cheaper and have fewer preservatives.  I hope they’ll eat it!  I also have a butter pecan rum cake recipe I want to try and many more bread recipes.  I’m hoping we can cut our food bill down some by making bread rather than buying it!

The kids are fighting over the Wii. *sigh*  We need some new games but just can’t afford that luxury right now.  Maybe for Christmas…

My hair has a ton of gray in it suddenly and I’m dying to go get highlights…I told my husband that’s the first thing I’m going to do when he gets his first paycheck from the company!  He has some quotes out now, so hopefully one of those will get picked up soon.  He’s also doing a lot of networking so I’m praying that we start getting some income from it soon.

The kids were approved for Medicaid last week, which is still really hard for me to deal with.  I was denied, but will be able to go reapply next week and should be approved.  They were able to get coverage based on our June income, but I was not.  I feel like such a drain on society, though God knows we’ve paid our dues.  I am confident it will be temporary and that we’ll be off of it in a year, but it’s such a hard thing to do when you’ve been told all your life that people who use these programs are leeches.  I am so grateful that the option is there for us, but I also can’t wait until we are able to get back on our feet and provide our own health care coverage.

I was planning to get my nose pierced for my 33rd birthday, which is coming up in a couple of months, but now I may not because I’m not sure it’s a good idea when you’re pregnant.  Plus there’s the whole money issue!  It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and I just haven’t gotten up the courage, plus my husband was not a fan of the idea.  Well, I’ve decided I just don’t care and I’m going to get it done eventually, either for my birthday or after the baby is born.  So if you can recommend a piercer in Sanford, I’m all ears!  Or perhaps all nose…hahaha!