Let me start by saying that I am a Christian. I believe God is out there and I believe he sent Christ to die for our sins. I am also a great believer in God being gentle, kind, loving, and accepting of all people. I am not sure I believe the Bible is 100% God’s word. I worry that the men who wrote it misinterpreted (either deliberately or not) God’s teachings or that important things have been lost in translation. I find that this tends to be a sticking point when meeting other Christians, especially here in the Bible Belt. It makes it hard for us to find a church where we fit in.
We discuss God and Jesus at home and I generally feel that this is sufficient and I’m comfortable with the aspects of Christianity that we are exposing the children to here. That said, my oldest goes to a church preschool. It is not my first choice, but since we cannot afford our first choice, we’ve compromised. Since we are Christian, I don’t mind most of the things he’s exposed to there. (Though I could do without having to explain why God “deaded” all the bad people in the Great Flood…I feel like the story of Noah’s Ark could have been handled in a better way.)
Every year, the preschool classes sing during the service one Sunday. So one Sunday a year, we get up, race around trying to eat breakfast, find “church” clothes because this church is one of those where you have to dress up, end up yelling at each other in the process, and head off to the service feeling miserable because we all argued with each other. It’s hardly what I think God would want for our family. This morning I couldn’t find anything suitable to wear and ended up wearing a skort and very casual top. I just can’t see keeping nice clothes in my closet when I *never* need to dress up. The kids were both in shorts because we don’t buy dressy pants for them as it’s a huge waste of money on something that might get worn once or twice. We argued with my oldest about wearing tennis shoes. Unpleasantness all around.
When we got there, I was immediately directed to the nursery for my youngest who is not yet two years old. I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable leaving my small non-verbal child with someone I don’t know and have never met before. Call me crazy or overprotective. Tell me I’m over-reacting. That’s fine. Maybe I am. But I’m not going to do it and nothing you say can make me change my mind. Bad things can happen to kids even in a church nursery. So then I felt weird for taking my youngest into the service. And of course he didn’t want to sit still. I knew he wouldn’t, and I don’t blame him. Last year he threw a tantrum during the service and I took him out to nurse him and calm him back down…only to find out there was no good place for me to nurse him. No mother’s room. No “cry room.” And I can only imagine the nasty looks I would have gotten if I’d tried to nurse him in the sanctuary. So I had to go find a quiet private place to sit and then I couldn’t hear the sermon. It’s frustrating.
If we could find an upbeat, exciting church that encouraged families to worship together, that was supportive of nursing mothers or mothers with young children who may need to leave the sanctuary (but would still like to hear the service!) to tend to their needs, where we could dress casually in comfortable everyday clothes without feeling like we were being judged, and where we could feel accepted even though our beliefs may be slightly different, I might get up on Sunday mornings and go. Maybe there’s one here like that and I just haven’t heard about it. If so, fill me in. I prefer a contemporary service but traditional would work if it fits the bill otherwise. I really enjoyed church when I was younger but as our family has grown and expanded, I find that it has just turned into a chore that I dread when we do have to go. The one exception being my home church back in Knoxville — it is awesome. So maybe we could just transplant good old Cokesbury UMC right here into Sanford or even Apex or Southern Pines? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
(Seriously though, if you have suggestions, I’d like to hear them!)
